(Adapted from an article published in the March newsletter of Helping Parents Heal, a wonderful source of support for bereaved parents. Go to helpingparentsheal.info for information and assistance. You are not alone.)
The death of a child may be the most painful experience that life can bring. For most, the grief is a process to be managed; it isn’t something that you really get over. But many bereft parents find solace in gaining a better understanding of their children’s lives now, and fortunately the afterlife evidence has a lot to say about the deaths of children. From the perspective of the child, early death turns out to be a peaceful time of love and joy.
The Death Process for Children
Those in spirit who are given the special duty of managing childhood transitions already deeply know and love each child. They take special care to make certain that children who are leaving their bodies will never know fear. If beloved relatives have transitioned before the child, then Grandma or Aunt Jane will come to the child’s bedside and playfully lure the child away; or otherwise, the deathbed greeter might be an angel, a Star Wars hero, or even a religious figure. The point is to make that moment of freedom from the body a happy time for the child.
Often, pre-adolescent children will first be given some distracting treat. Tales abound in the afterlife literature of children taken to astral fields so they can play with the lambs, or led to the door of a beautiful child-sized playhouse full of like-aged children. Perhaps a little girl might wake up in a princess castle, or a little boy in the stable of the pony that he always wanted in life. Especially if there are no familiar people there to greet the transitioning child, it is important to ensure that these children – many of whom were very sick before death – will at once feel healthy and distracted and nurtured.
Evidence suggests that the very youngest will be tended by actual angels. Infants and miscarried children, and children who are the victims of abortion, are picked up by angelic beings and carried to the villages where they will grow to young adulthood. It is striking, and important, to realize that those who manage pre-birth deaths make no difference between discarded fetuses and those that had been wanted by their parents.
Growing Up in Heaven
Many parents find comfort in thinking that a child is “with Grandma now.” And indeed, if a familiar relative or friend is already there, then growing up in her Summerland home is often seen by those who oversee this process to be the best option for the child. Too often, though, there is no one really suited to doing what the dead seem to see as the most important task in their world: the gentle rearing of children who are briefly separated from their parents.
For children who have no one close to them already living in the afterlife levels, there are beautiful group homes and villages where they can grow up at their own pace in an atmosphere of perfect love. Apparently even young children will grow to young adulthood in just a few earth-years, but since they are living outside of time they can let their maturing take as long as they like. The children’s homes and villages in the afterlife levels are off-limits to any but a few carefully chosen people who make of the perfect rearing of these children a beautiful and sacred joy.
Nothing can replace the love of their parents. But in the childhood areas of the afterlife levels, children will never again know pain, or fear, or any other negative emotion. They will live immersed in love and joy. We have good recorded communications received through deep-trance mediums in the first decades of the twentieth century, when many of those who had recently died had lived rather hardscrabble lives. I recall reading one communication that was received about 1910 in which the fellow who had died complained about how much he envied those who had died as children because they had enjoyed such happy childhoods. They had no way to understand how painful his own childhood had been!
What About Our Young-Adult Children?
No child should die before we do. The loss of a child at any age can be the cause of agonizing pain, but it is important to understand that every new arrival in the afterlife is similarly greeted and loved. Even if your own child has committed crimes, or has died due to a drug overdose or a suicide, there is no judgment by a religious figure. There is no condemnation. Instead, once our older children are prepared for it, there is a life-review in which our children are helped to see how they might perhaps have acted more lovingly or have made better and more productive choices. Every child of every age is perfectly loved. No matter how their lives went here, they remain eternal beings who receive all the love and understanding and nurturing that their parents wish they still were able to give them.
No matter the age at which a child transitions, they await us as beautiful young adults who have loved their parents and been close to them throughout the balance of their lives. Oh, the hugs! The laughter! The tears of joy! Grown children will have been so close to their parents that they know the details of the rest of their lives, but they will have a lot to share about what they have been up to during the separation. Everyone who has recently transitioned is given a party (they seem to party a lot in heaven), and having these children with them again makes the parents’ parties especially joyous.
Communication Across the Dimensions
Many of those who have gone before us will attempt to send us signs of their survival, and this is especially true of children. Deep grief is a negative energy that can act as a barrier to communication, so as difficult as it may be for parents, it is important that they do what they can to manage their grief so it won’t block contacts from their children. And it is important that parents be alert for signs. If anything is noticed that might be a sign – even if there is some doubt – it is important to say aloud, “Thank you! I see that. Please do it again!” Parents who watch for and acknowledge signs can sometimes be deluged with them.
Consulting a good spiritual medium can help to assure you that your child is doing well. Make certain that you check references! But nothing else is quite the same as actually having a conversation, so you will be glad to know that progress in being made on what Dr. Gary Schwartz of the University of Arizona at Tucson calls the Soul Phone. It seems likely that within the next few years, bereaved parents will have this wonderful new way to make certain that their children are not only fine, but they are having the time of their lives.