The Happy Process of Natural Death

Posted by Roberta Grimes • September 14, 2019 • 112 Comments
Death, Human Nature, The Fun of Dying

Death is a universal part of life, so the level of misinformation and fear that still surrounds it in the twenty-first century is horrifying! So much of what we are told by those we venerate as authorities is scary, silly, and entirely wrong. The scientific community still insists that the death of our bodies will be the death of our minds, while Christian clergymen assure us that after death we might end up in a fiery hell, in a tortuous purgatory, sitting around in a boring throne room, or sleeping until we hear an end-times trumpet. When the information about what actually happens at and after death is so abundant now, and when so much of it has been readily available to us for more than a century, there is no excuse for all this depressing misinformation and plain nonsense!

We plan for our eventual deaths as part of the life-planning process. All the important events of our lives are planned, and we also plan two or three exit points that our higher consciousness can choose to take if it determines that for what ever reason it is time for us to leave this lifetime. Death at any time other than a planned exit point is possible, but it is rare. Almost never do we know at a conscious level that our greater minds have chosen to take an upcoming exit point, but often after people have died their loved ones will look back and notice that the decedent had spent the months before death wrapping up details, reconciling with people, finishing projects, settling debts, and in general trying to make things a little neater for those left behind.

The day of your death is meant to be the happiest, most beautiful day of your life. It’s the day when you are reunited with loved ones you may have thought you never would see again, the day you get to see and hug the guides who have helped you make the most of this lifetime, and the blessed day when you leave this illusion and return to the joy of your true home. For most people, death is just that wonderful! But I have lately come to accept the fact that our willful cultural ignorance about death still means that far too many people are botching their well-planned deaths and taking temporary detours to nowhere. We’ll be talking about some of their travails next week. First, though, let’s talk about what actually happens in the sort of well-planned death that most of us can look forward to enjoying.

I have written extensively about the death process, but now as we talk about the need to help our children better deal with death we ought to say a bit more about it. Not only do we all need to be prepared to help the children in our lives better deal with the possible deaths of loved ones, but also every one of us will before long be making the trip ourselves. And unless we know what to expect, and also how to guard against the many things that might go wrong, it can be hard for even the more knowledgeable among us to transition happily when our time comes. Five years ago I gave you a standard overview of the death process here, and now I will be building on that so I hope you will read that post again before you tackle the rest of this one.

You will need to keep an open mind! If you can approach your death knowing just in general terms that the process is going to be easy and happy, and that you will at every moment be cared for and supported by loved ones – if that is all that fills your mind at your death – then you will manage it just fine. You may be one of the fortunate ones who simply fall asleep here and wake up there, but most of us are awake during at least some part of the death process. And some of what happens during your death is likely to feel odd or confusing to you and to your survivors, so it can help if you know what to expect:

  • You will begin the process of separating from your body sometime in the hours before your death. We don’t know exactly when this begins, and it may be variable and personal to you, but for many, the first sign of this separation will be what seems to be a partial recovery. People who had been in comas might wake up, and perhaps even sit up and speak normally. Those with dementia who might not have been coherent for years might converse with those around them. From your perspective as the person who is dying, it seems that in general both pain and fear are almost or altogether gone, and you feel better and pretty much matter-of-fact about your dying now. The cause of all these changes is apparently the partial separation of your energy body – your mind, or perhaps your “soul” if you prefer – from the physical body that is about to die.
  • In the hours before death there will be deathbed visitors. The timing of this is variable. One or two of these people that we used to think were dead will sometimes appear to the dying person as much as a couple of weeks before the death; but more commonly, these visitors will first begin to appear in the last day or two. From your perspective as the dying person, this is an astonishing experience! You are in the midst of actively dying, not uncomfortable and not really worried but still unsure about what comes next; and then suddenly, Dad appears in an upper corner of the room, looking solid and in the prime of life. He starts speaking with you in your mind, and you respond to him mentally. He might come down into the room, or he might stay partially visible in an upper corner; he might be joined by other dead loved ones, all looking great, or even by dead pets. For nearly everyone, this sudden appearance of happy loved ones long after their own deaths is so thrilling that we will mostly stop interacting with our living visitors. On occasion, too, some of those in the room will also see these deathbed visitors, and they even might accompany the dying person at the start of the post-death journey. Dr. Raymond Moody’s Glimpses of Eternity details this interesting phenomenon of shared-death experiences.
  • Actively dying is a gradual process. From the moment when you see your first deathbed visitor, you know that you are going to be fine, so what happens next can be a lot of fun for those who are awake throughout. You might think of your earth-body as something like nested dolls. The outer layer or two will be dying now – the one composed of matter, and also perhaps the energy aura that defended you against negative entities while you were alive (we aren’t sure about that). But the internal energy bodies that hold your earth-mind will survive your death, so your nested bodies must separate. People who have been awake while this was happening have said it begins in the fingers and toes and progresses toward the torso, and it feels as if lots of tiny threads are breaking inside your body. I think of it as un-velcroing! The energy part of you that is leaving is un-velcroing from your physical body, and it gathers in your chest. It then leaves through the chest wall or through the top of the head, and it rises in the air above your body. People at the bedside can sometimes see it as a vague gray mist. Now that it is free of matter, its vibratory rate rises rapidly, so very soon the living can no longer see it. That mist is you! It contains your awareness and your perspective, and by some accounts, just that process of leaving the body feels intensely pleasurable. In the air above your body, beyond the view of nearly everyone living, you re-form into a solid-seeming person still attached to your body by a glowing umbilicus called a silver cord. You happily hug your deathbed visitors. All of you are solid, young, and beautiful.
  • Your actual death moment is the breaking of the silver cord. It is that attachment to your energy-self that has kept the material body living, so as soon as it breaks, your body’s heart stops. And you feel terrific, young and vigorous and thrilled to be free of that old boat-anchor of a body; but living people you love may be around your bed and very aware that your body has just died. This is the single most dangerous moment of your entire existence! What you do now is going to be critical, as you will better understand next week.
  • It is essential that you follow your deathbed visitors. We are as clueless when we emerge from our dying bodies as we were when we emerged from the birth-canal, and this seems to be the reason why our planned deaths include deathbed visitors. Our visitors try to keep our attention, and they coax us to accompany them right away, since for us to remain with our mourners for long puts us at risk of becoming earthbound.

The next stage exists right where we are now, but just at a higher vibration. If you will think of your mind as a television set, and your death as simply changing channels, this will make a lot more sense to you. After your silver cord has broken, it will feel as if you are physically moving, but in reality you and those who accompany you are raising your personal vibrations from what we might call the physical channel to the slightly higher afterlife channel. This process does not involve a tunnel and a light! That commonplace from near-death experiences seems instead to be just a rescue device for people unexpectedly out of their bodies.

The way most people experience the transition is as something like entering a brief fog. The formerly solid room where you died becomes vague and vapory and then disappears, while in front of you the fog is lifting to reveal a gorgeous and intensely colored but solid and amazingly earthlike new world. There are a few afterlife channels below it, and many more above it, all existing pretty much where we are now; and the Summerland where our families congregate to welcome us back home is gorgeous and enormous beyond our ability to adequately imagine or describe it. From your perspective, having just dropped your body and been reunited with loved ones you thought you had lost, you now find yourself suddenly young and beautiful and standing on solid ground in earth-like surroundings more gorgeous by far than anything that exists on earth. What may be most surprising is the fact that there is nothing but love and joy in the very air you breathe! And the pure white light that illumines this place so completely that there are no shadows feels like love beyond your ability even to adequately encompass it. You truly are in heaven now! And for most new arrivals, the shock of joy that comes with this realization can make us need to simply sit down for awhile and look around as we take it all in.

Your death was planned before you were born to be an easy and joyous return to your genuine eternal life. Knowing this makes more tragic the fact that because our culture is so ignorant and fearful, dying today carries many risks of which you will need to be aware so you can better guard against them. Stay tuned….


Grave Marker photo credit: Tjflex2 <a href=”″>Robert Dunsmuir</a> via <a href=””>photopin</a> <a href=””>(license)</a>
Military cemetery photo credit: MudflapDC <a href=”″>Funeral Service</a> via <a href=””>photopin</a> <a href=””>(license)</a>
Heavenly autumn photo credit: chasedekker <a href=”″>Explosion of Autumn</a> via <a href=””>photopin</a> <a href=””>(license)</a>

Roberta Grimes
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112 thoughts on “The Happy Process of Natural Death

  1. nice account, Roberta 🙂

    I hope you’ll also post this on as an intro for its many visitors. it’s a lovely, inspired, detailed and uplifting account of what happens. Actually, I’ve posted it myself – hope you don’t mind!

    1. Of course I don’t mind, dear Mac! The more people who know what to expect and how to manage their own deaths well, the fewer people there will be who will go off-track, perhaps for centuries.

      1. 🙂 thanks, Roberta

        As I’ve just written over on ALF in the past few minutes, because there’s no time ‘over there’ in the etheric so-called earthbounds likely won’t have any awareness even of centuries having passed.

        It’s just us incarnates for whom it appears to be ‘a long time’ and who get concerned about it. 😉

        1. Dear Mac, the fact that people who go off-track are not much aware of the passage of time is indeed of some comfort, but still it’s not what is supposed to happen. Evidence suggests that it can be lonely. And it is so unnecessary!

          It also probably screws up their reception party. As for me, I want that party! I’d even like a parade, if I manage to earn it. Thomas tells me now that’s a definite maybe….

  2. 🙂

    You’d better keep doin’ what you’ve been doin’, then, Roberta. 😉 And burning that midnight – early morning! – oil!

    There’s no let-up for you it seems…. 🙂

    1. Sounds beautiful I want go home always had that thought I am 63 and a widow but suffer from depression on n off I have lovely family who I don’t want to leave but there must be something else I am tired I don’t mix well either thankyou xc

      1. Oh dear Sheree, please get medication for your depression,then study the afterlife literature and become entirely convinced that your life is eternal! Teach it to your children and grandchildren. Volunteer in nursing homes, and give the people there peace and joy. I am ten years older than you are. When I was 63, my glorious present life had barely begun! Begin to live in the joy of helping others, dear Sheree, and you will absolutely Ace this lifetime!!

  3. Dear Roberta! Thank you for communicating this. The facts about this process are among the most important “facts of life” we can teach. I will be interested to see others’ comments.

    1. Yes indeed, Mike! These are the most important facts of life, especially since the other sort kind of happens naturally but we don’t have a death-instinct that similarly carries us through the process. I asked Mikey on ALF what percentage of people who die go off-track at death, at least for a time, and I’m appalled by his answer: he said it was close to 25%!

      1. This is a sad statistic, but given the taboo around what to expect when you’re transitioning, at the same time I might have expected the % to be worse. We now have hospice workers and ER staff speaking up, so maybe the attitude will change. This blog entry helps too. Incidentally I have an amazing story to share about my father’s passing, but I will do that in a separate comment if he’s ok with my doing so.

        1. I guess you’re more pessimistic than I am, dear Mike! Until Mikey first shared that statistic with us, I was sure the death process was so perfect that at most, it would be 4-5% who went off-track at death, and those would be just the really, extremely bad guys. But, how wrong I was!

          1. I am not pessimistic, but I have seen enough accounts of how people approach their passing to know that there is a lot of terror associated with not knowing what’s going to happen. And we all know how much help terror provides.

  4. I loved your book the Fun of Dying! I know in my soul that all that you write is correct. My mother n law is 100 years old and making her transition now. The other day she said she was ready, she had a happy life, she was a happy person and she had 8 wonderful children. I will die tomorrow. Well she is still here but in the process. I tell her to follow her guide, and to be joyful and to tell my Mom and Dad hello. Thanks for writing what I feel. You are the best.

    1. Oh my dear Marilynn, thank you for your kindly words. I do try hard to be helpful! And my own mother has confirmed that what I’ve written is right: there can be no finer accolade than that ;-).

      Jesus was right when He said that a prophet is without honor in his own city. I tried so hard to teach my mother about death, but she would have none of it! She hung on until she was 93, steadfastly refusing to leave although her body was falling apart to the point where she could do nothing for herself anymore. Then at last she died in her sleep. When I contacted her through a medium after her death, her first words were, “You were right about everything!” And clearly, discovering that had surprised her!

      1. Roberta I hope you get your parade!
        Thank you. I have been telling my mother n law the same. So her big day and new life is about to start. So thrilled and excited for her.

        1. I’m thrilled and excited for her too, dear Marilynn! That’s how I felt when my parents and my beloved in-laws transitioned, and I never shed a tear. YAYY!! Now the fun part of your life really begins!!

          My talk of the parade, though, is just kind of silly. Those parades are pretty rare! Near the beginning of my reading of early-20th-century afterlife accounts, I read a great account of one that had been held for a woman who had done one kindly, anonymous thing for others every day of her adult life, and I thought at the time I would start to do that too, then I also would get a parade. You can imagine how long that resolution lasted….

      2. My gran lost her speech after a stroke and days before she died she often said my dead grandads name and day she died she stared at bottom of bed and said Elizabeth but look in her eyes said she was afraid she had an aunt Elizabeth has this been her death bed visitors?

        1. Dear Jacqueline, yes, the way your gran behaved is commonly reported as death approaches, and when people are quizzed by someone they trust and feel won’t disparage what they are saying, at these times they will say that the person named is actually here, right in front of them, and solid. This generally makes people very happy! What you saw in her eyes may have been confusion, concern, wondering why others weren’t there instead, or some other emotion that wasn’t necessarily fear?

  5. Roberta: I love this week’s blog and was particularly interested in your mention of exit points. It brought me back to a time in the mid 1990’s when I read a story about a 16 year old girl who went with two 17 year old friends to a hockey game that was only a few miles away. She had no interest in poetry and in fact didn’t particularly like English class. The car she was in was hit by an oncoming car, and she was killed as she was coming home from the game. The day after that, her mother walked into her daughter’s room and found a poem she had written prior to leaving for the hockey game. It concerned angels and heaven, but her mother was confused, as her daughter had never done anything like that before. She also left it on top of her dresser in plain sight, which indicates that she wanted it to be found. No 16 year old writes a poem about angels and heaven, and then runs off to a hockey game, especially if they have zero interest in poetry. Clearly, she knew on some level that she may not be coming home that night.

    That being said, I know that sometimes things can go terribly wrong due to many factors — addictions, scary religious beliefs, inability to let go of earthly matters, confusion and fear, being just some of them. In the “Fun of Dying”, you mention the fear of demons/deceivers masking as guides and helpful spirits. To be honest with you, this has been and still is of major concern to me. No matter how much I try to ignore it, I can’t seem to shake that fear, so I look forward to hearing what you have to say next week.

    1. Dear Lola, thank you for sharing that story! it happens so often that when people look back, it seems obvious to them that the decedent knew or suspected what was coming, and that does seem to comfort lots of mourners.

      The whole demons-masquerading-as-spirits thing seems never to have happened in fact. At least, I have seen no evidence of it! But the fact that we get deathbed visitors was broadly-known new information early in the last century, culminating in Sir William Barrett’s 1926 pathbreaker, Deathbed Visions. The fundamentalist Christian control-freaks of the day didn’t want to lose their flocks to the truth, so they started teaching that “demons” would come to your bedside at death, masquerading as your loved ones, and take you straight to hell, so do not under any circumstances follow your loved ones from your deathbed!! Nice religion, huh?

  6. I have spent many hours recently on my genealogy. And it is wonderful to see the multitude of connections that our earthbound ancestors have given us.
    I personally have only witnessed one death, my Mother’s. She went very fast at home under visiting hospice care. I gave her medications in the end to help make her more comfortable, so I am not sure how alert she really was.
    My sister, my niece and myself remained by her side during her final hours.
    The only visual sign I remember was her eyes fluttering about 30 minutes before she died. And, I felt like she was seeing something that perhaps she couldn’t believe. Perhaps her parents.
    Her passing was very difficult for us because it happened very fast, two months after diagnosis, and my Father was in no way prepared mentally to live without my Mom. He was and still is on poor health and we all expected Mom to outlive him. But three years later, and we are all getting by without her, and I know that she is in the best place free from worries of taking care of people and stuff.
    I am now curious about the reincarnation piece of the puzzle. If the souls closest to this physical body are those we are eager to be reunited with when we die, what about the souls from previous body life’s, do they hold any significance? Will we know them and feel the same attraction? Some may be absent as they may be living another physical life. Does our journey up to that point, and the many souls that we have encountered in say multiple lives, become crystal clear when we return?

    1. Dear Roberta. I found your earlier comment about the percentage of people who go off track at death and become earthbound to be a bit disturbing. There must be a lot of folks on the other side working to guide them home. This reminds me of a dream I had several years ago that seemed to indicate that doing that sort of work is training for those who aren’t quite ready to be spirit guides yet. In the dream they were called “firemen.” Have you ever come across such a concept? Also, due to some recent experiences I had with a couple so-called guides, I was curious about your thoughts on what Lola said about “tricksters” pretending to be spirit guides. For me it seemed like maybe a sort of suprvised exposure with my primary guide making sure it didn’t get out of hand, along the lines of Dante’s tour of the lower realms. I was doing a lot of the recommended types of protection, but things got a bit crazy anyway. I was a somewhat bemused by it all and don’t seem any worse for wear. It was still unsettling, though, and I have to say it knocked me a bit off balance. Things seem back to normal at this point.

      1. Dear Scott, I have answered Lola’s question above – no worries. Although there are for sure many very negative entities, our saving grace is the fact that the more evil they are, the weaker they are. Those who really want to harm us generally lack the power to do anything beyond influencing susceptible people. Simply by working closely with an advanced spirit guide, you likely will attract some bad guys; but if you remain firmly in the light and filled with love, with the help and protection of your guide you will be fine (as you have already seen).

    2. Hello dear Timothy! I have wondered about this too, whether an epic great love from a prior lifetime might show up, but it turns out that unless that loved one was helping you during this lifetime, you won’t even recognize him/her until after you transition and are reunited with the greater universal mind that you left behind to come here for this lifetime. So all those reunions – if any there be – will happen after we return home! The evidence is that we each have had some more important lifetimes, and the major people in those we might recognize right away; for our lesser lifetimes, if we are interested we review them in the library. Nothing ever is really forgotten!

  7. As a shameless promoter of Roberta’s forum-based website I’d like you to know your questions (below) are our regular fare. Why not pay us a visit?
    “I am now curious about the reincarnation piece of the puzzle. If the souls closest to this physical body are those we are eager to be r………………….t we have encountered in say multiple lives, become crystal clear when we return?”

    1. Hello dear Mac! I have answered Timothy’s question about reincarnation above, but since I’m not sure what “r………………..t” means, I’m not sure how to answer yours. I’m sorry!

      1. sorry – It was clumsy ‘thinning’ of a quoted post which I didn’t spot until I was too late to change it – no corrections can be made after posting.

        I hadn’t meant it as a question – sorry.

  8. Thank you Roberta for this very uplifting article, knowledge our culture is craving for. I will translate it into French and post it on my own website if you authorise me, Françoise

    1. Dear Francoise, of course I would be delighted to have you translate the above post into French and post it yourself, with or without attribution to me. The whole point is to get this information into the minds of as many people as possible! Thank you! MERCI! (Which is the entire extent of my knowledge of your language, I am embarrassed to say.)

  9. Roberta’s words were inspired by her guide and re-tell mostly what’s been known for a long time. The easy part is reaching those who follow her blog and/or the website she owns. The hard part is scaling the process, reaching all the others who don’t read either.

    Parents can’t teach their kids when they don’t know anything themselves. School teachers perpetuate stories and rituals in ways similar to mainstream churches – both know no better and pupils are taught beliefs rather than facts. Both education and church have the potential to convey the truth but they desperately need to change before that can happen. Where does that change begin, I wonder? And when?

    1. Dear Mac, I’m not sure that our existing institutions are really going to be able to change. Instead, it may be that a whole new movement based in the truth will take over? I don’t know, and can’t really guess. All I do know for certain is that we here on earth in bodies very emphatically are not in charge!

      1. Although it’s the way I’ve felt about matters for some time, Roberta, to hear you – and in effect TJ – saying what you just have is very depressing for me. 🙁

        I suppose even curmudgeonly mac used to feel a little optimistic something might change before his time here was up but that optimism is now all-but gone.

        1. Dear Mac, you and I are going to be watching the change happen from the bleacher seats! Close to the action, but not in it. And glad to be there, because what we will see will be the fruits of the trees we’ve helped to plant to build that joyous better world. What could be more thrilling??

          1. I shall look forward to sitting by your side there, Roberta. 🙂

            As I’ve often remarked, I’ve felt more an observer than a participant in this world and based on what you’ve said it looks like that situation will continue in the next! 🙂

  10. Roberta: l’m glad you mentioned “Deathbed Visions.” It was certainly way before any of our time, but one of the reasons he was so convinced was that he had visited kind of a socialite just before she died in a hospital, and the woman saw a few people who had passed on standing with her sister, Vera. That might sound like no big deal, but Vera was still alive (or so everyone thought). However, she had a massive heart attack a couple of days before, but since at that time in history news traveled so slowly, no one knew about it yet, as her sister lived in another state. He knew of a few similar stories, so his book kind of took the UK by storm at that time.

    I certainly wouldn’t be surprised if the control freaks made a story up about guides and angels being bogus, as that would give comfort to people and eliminate the fear they so much wanted to generate. I had even heard a few years ago that the Catholics declared it a mortal sin to miss mass on Sunday because if you skipped going to Sunday services, there would be less money going in the collection plate. I wouldn’t be surprised if that were true; nothing surprises me any more.

    1. Dear Lola, it has ever been thus in Christianity. The religion has grown and thrived because it sows so much fear, and not because it carries the greatest truths. Those truths it mainly ignores. As far back as Nicaea in 325, they were tweaking even the Gospels to ramp up the fear, and they said they were removing all hints of reincarnation from the words of Jesus so people would have just one chance to get it right, and therefore they would try harder.

      Decades ago, when I was still a Catholic and living in Massachusetts near the Rhode Island border, RI instituted Saturday evening Masses but MA for a time didn’t have them So lots of people were going to RI for church, to have their Sundays free. I vividly recall one Sunday morning the priest railing at his faithful sitting there in the pews about the horrible parishioners who were going to RI to church, and insisting that if you lived in his geographical parish, for you to attend Mass in a different parish didn’t count. He was furious! Clearly, for him religion was all about the Benjamins. (Or I guess it would have been more the Washingtons and the Hamiltons.)

      1. Dear Roberta
        My father committed suicide at the age of 69. We knew he suffered depression but he had been good for years he fought in World War II for five years but this happened way after that. Suicide runs in his family.
        That was in 1984 where do you think he is now I worry about that so much I suffer from depression and feel like I fight suicide often but I don’t think I’m brave enough to do it.

  11. “When I die :
    I want my funeral to be a huge show biz affair…….. I want Hollywood all the way. I don’t want some Rabbi rambling on; I want Meryl Streep crying in five different accents.”
    – Joan Rivers

    Well dearest Roberta, I guess if this life is often good and fun filled – the Afterlife is even better, so I can kiss shadowy personal uncertainty goodbye and enjoy the truth of life eternal.

    I can also have fun designing my funeral as a kind of celebration of life (even though my death may be a few decades away). I can outline my goodbye party now and make it light, loving and add a surprise or two in the offing.

    Although nearly 25 percent of souls get lost after death, or so it seems, I am not going to dwell on that. Instead I will talk to whoever I can about how I know that everything will be alright after the body dies. At least this serendipitous discussion can spread awareness of what is really going on. Besides, designing one’s own end party is a good talking point with friends, providing a smooth segue to sharing knowledge of the afterlife.

    And unlike with Joan Rivers, there is no need for Hollywood hyperbole. The truth of it all is far more astounding. 😉

    1. Oh, I agree, dear Efrem: the truth about what happens at and after death is more wonderful than any living person can imagine! And those who make it home are seven degrees of happy, from delighted to full-out overjoyed. They have trouble even describing at all the world in which they find themselves, the world in which the first thing they do when they’re back is to slap their foreheads in amazement that they ever could have forgotten all this!

      The need for each of us who knows the truth to spread it to as many people as possible is critical, of course. Each person who is reading these words has the power to save loved ones and even many others from the horrors of going off-track (about which, more next week). Just by confirming and reinforcing our own certainty, and then by radiating the joy of it in all that we do, we can help so many!

  12. Efrem: Thanks for the laugh. I miss Joan Rivers soooo much, and that is so typical of something she would say. Of course, we don’t know how she REALLY felt, as that was said just to get a laugh, which she was a genius at doing. However, I have heard of people coming through mediums who describe kind of a welcoming party that was held for them. However, I would just be satisfied to get there without a hassle. Mikey Morgan’s estimate of 25% of people having problems with transition is certainly possible and may even be downplayed somewhat. I feel this might be due to confusing religious dogma, as well as extreme fear and misunderstanding plus other factors. Maybe in the long run, it is up to us to create our own outcome

    1. There’s an old joke, all the details of which I don’t recall, but it involves St Peter giving a newly arrived soul a tour of heaven. The punchline is, “Shhh, those are the Catholics. They think they are the only ones here!”

      I expect that where many of the 25% go wrong is in thinking that “Heaven” is a certain way and reserved only for a chosen few. They may be confused upon transition, but they aren’t lost. More on that next week, I see.

    2. Dear Lola and Mike, there are lots of reasons why people go astray! Most of them boil down to fears – and often religious fears – but ignorance also plays a part. This is what we’ll be discussing next week. Forewarned is forearmed!

    3. Hello my dear, I miss Joan Rivers too. Very much. She has always been out there since I was a kid. Joan transformed herself and her jokes to suit each new decade. And I don’t just mean the constant plastic surgery. (Joan said even her grandkid used to call her ‘Nanna Newface’.)
      I saw a ‘spend a day with Joan Rivers’ documentary once. Her Manhattan apartment looked like Versailles on steroids. The thing that she was most afraid of was the blank pages in her appointments book. Joan feared not being loved, she admitted.
      How many people Lola, lose their connection to the Afterlife because they fear, instead of feeling loved and worthy of love ? I wonder..

  13. Roberta: Every time I think I’ve heard it all, I hear more things that sound incredibly ridiculous. I Am referring to what you experienced with the parish priest in Massachusetts who said that going across the border to Rhode Island didn’t count? Why wouldn’t it count? It was still a Catholic church after all. I agree that it sounds like he was missing the money that he would ordinarily get in the collection basket, as now it was being given to the one in RI, I hope no one there actually believed him, but I’m willing to bet that a few did.

    I went to school with a girl who became a nun and joined a convent. However, after a while, she became unhappy and decided to leave. She was told by the Mother Superior that her soul would be in jeopardy if she carried out her plans, but she ignored her advice and became a nurse instead. Good for her.

    Incidentally, I don’t mean to sound like I’m “bashing” the Catholic faith. It could have been a beautiful religion if it didn’t have so many self serving liars attached to it. Then again, if one pays close attention to what was said in the Old Testament, it’s no wonder that people became fearful and nervous, as they were told it was the “word of God.”.

    1. Dear Lola, having been both Protestant and Catholic, and intensely in both cases, I see the problems with both major divisions of Christianity now that could so easily be addressed if they were not so drenched in religious fears!

      I have just this afternoon interviewed for Seek Reality the head of Spiritism in the U.S., and found it to be a delightful version of Christianity, entirely devoid of fears! Most of us are familiar with Spiritualism, but Spiritism is based in the teachings of a 19th-century French scholar… and I kept nodding to everything this lovely woman said. As the old control-based versions of Christianity die, I think we are going to see a great flowering of Christian ideas, this time based entirely in love!

  14. I was taken somewhat aback when I read that Mikey reported that 25% of those going through the death process somehow get lost along the way. I have heard that some souls for rescue parties for these unfortunates. Can Mikey shed a little light on whether that is true and how effective they are?

    I know that ultimately it will be 100%, but the meanwhile might be disheartening.

    Go, rescuers!



    1. Dear Cookie, when I first read that 25% statistic from Mikey, I was horrified! But he stresses that the statistic includes even people who are off-track by an earth-day or two, and quickly rescued. He also stresses – as you point out here – that eventually everyone is rescued! Still, I think it’s important that everyone transition right away if possible, so educating people about what can go wrong so they can protect themselves has to be a big priority for us now!

  15. Spiritism is different than Spiritualism? I didn’t know that. I will have to check out that interview on Seek Reality. It sounds like you had a very interesting conversation with that lady. The old fear based Christianity is dying off. Many of the “burn in hell” churches and ALL of the Catholic schools have closed their doors in my area due to lack of attendance

    1. Yes, Lola, Spiritism is definitely different from Modern Spiritualism although there are important similarities.

      You will also find UK Spiritualism is a little different from North American Spiritualism and we also have ‘Christian Spiritualism’ in the UK. But the key element of survival beyond corporeal death and communication through evidential mediumship is found in all of them.

      I’m shortly going to download and listen to Roberta’s recent podcast interview. That should make interesting listening, I’m hoping. 😉

      1. Dear Lola and Mac, Jussara Korngold was delightful. And why is it that Brazilians are always so beautiful? I actually asked her that question before we went on air, and she laughed and said it was probably because they are all mixed-race. Seems like as good an explanation as any!

        And what we recorded live last night won’t be on – where most people get Seek Reality podcasts – until the week of Oct. 7. Sorry about that!

        1. Thanks for confirming that, Roberta. 🙂

          I looked early our UK Wednesday morning and as I couldn’t find it there I concluded it was yet to be edited and finished ready for a later podcast date.

          Perhaps you could then post a link directly to it for anyone who doesn’t know where to look for the podcast? I’m eager to listen.

  16. David: Groups who rescue souls claim a fairly high success rate, but what happened before these groups were formed? I agree that it is disheartening. Of course, I am talking about the rescue groups who are still in physical bodies. I don’t know much about rescue groups on the other side, as I couldn’t find too much information on them

    1. Again there’s a conversation on this subject happening over on ALF. 🙂

      So-called rescue groups are made up of incarnates and operate in this physcal dimension. Rescue – encouragement to move over – can take place from ‘the other side’ too but does not necessarily involve a special group.

      A spirit may not readily be able to be reached by would-be spirit helpers and that’s when the combined energy of a rescue group reaching out to a ‘lost soul’ can enable a medium to contact her/him.

      Doing so allows the medium to explain what’s happened, explain to the individual that they have died and should complete her/his crossing into the etheric world.

      1. Dear friends, please know that most rescue work is apparently being done by people who are not in bodies. We are told that some who are newly transitioned – so their personal vibration is still rising – will often be recruited to enter the Outer Darkness in the company of a sixth-level being because the newly-dead person can often be seen by those stuck in the Outer Darkness by their own mistakes, while a high-level being is invisible to them. And once the newly-dead person has their attention, sometimes that higher-level being is able to make contact.

        The bottom line is that free will exists even among the most off-track of us, so only those who want to be rescued can in fact be helped! And for some, this can take awhile. More next week….

  17. Hi Roberta, Loved this blog. I’m with you on everything. I did have to go back though and reread the paragraph regarding the silver cord. The reason being is that so many people whose hearts have stopped are brought back to life. I suppose the reason the cord didn’t break in those cases was because it wasn’t one of their exit points. But if it is one of their exit points the cord will break and the heart will stop as you state. I.E. the heart will of course stop once the cord breaks but the cord will not necessarily break if the heart stops, resulting in (if you’re lucky) a treasured near-death experience. I guess in this case it’s a distinction with a difference. Looking forward to your next post!!

    1. Death is irreversible – that’s what defines it. Anything else wasn’t death. 😉

      There is no ‘bringing back to life’ when death has occurred but patients can be brought back from a stage apparently approaching death, where detectable life-signs appears all-but gone.

      There are, of course, innumerable accounts of apparent near-death and ‘miraculous’ recoveries and they serve to confuse readers.

    2. Dear Sharon, the cord can indeed break if there is an extreme life-ending event – an accident, a war, a suicide – even if it happens at a time that is not a planned exit point. If it breaks, death occurs. If it doesn’t break, then there is no death, and it is critical for all of us to know and remember that if the cord doesn’t break, it is possible to return from what was a kind of Near-Death Experience, but not an actual trip to the afterlife. Many people who have NDEs find them so amazing that they are sure they have been to where the dead are! But they haven’t been there. Those who have completed their deaths tell us that it is impossible to return from the genuine afterlife. Death is ALWAYS a one-way trip!

  18. I read ‘The Spirits’ Book – compiled by Allan Kardec – many times in my early years. It’s kinda like a Spiritist Bible but without any commandments! 🙂 In the |Modern Spiritualist movement there is no similar book.

    I found Kardec hard-going at the time but now the style of his book seems awfully dated.

  19. Mac: You said “a spirit may not readily be able to be reached by would-be spirit helpers.” I agree with you, and that is what my deep concern is. I will check out the ALF comments, as I joined it a couple of months ago. I’m probably being optimistic, but my feeling is that anyone who posts comments on here and reads the material may not have much of a problem with that sort of thing when they die, as way too many people are totally unaware of the things discussed here. This is bound to cause mega confusion, at least initially, during the death process.

    In the meantime, since Roberta’s podcast will be delayed, there is quite a bit of information on the internet concerning Spiritism, and I was surprised to find that I was already introduced to it and didn’t even know it because I read two of Allen Kardec’s books, and he seems to be a big part of Spiritism.

    1. You might be interested in this, Lola:

      In respect of passing over and avoiding ‘getting stuck’, being aware of the ‘basics’ is certainly helpful but getting stuck is not something I am unduly concerned about. This bald 25% estimate may be causing you and others unwarranted concern.

      My perspective is that it’s hardly important if individuals – part of the 25% – don’t complete their passing over for a while, be that days, weeks or even months of earth time. The earth’s time has no relevance outside of our dimension anyway!

      The figure of 25% includes all categories so what percentage – one might ask – are truly stuck for so long that they are a significant concern to their helpers? I think it’s very unhelpful making estimates without explaining on what they’re based.

  20. Hello Roberta,

    I found the aspect of the “vague gray mist” to be credible.

    The first time I heard this was more than 2 decades ago when my then 93 year old great-aunt described what she saw when she found her husband dead in his rocking chair. He told her he was going to nap & never got up so it was a surprise death to her (he had not been ill, but very old).

    She went to wake him for some tea, saw she could not wake him and realized he had died. She then described what she called a mist leave his body and go under their closed front door, out of their home.

    We laughed at the ramblings of an elderly lady. But now reading this I am beginning to think she was opened minded and did indeed see something. I am pretty sure she had no computer / internet and did not read this anywhere.

    How wonderful for her to have seen this!

    1. Dear Suzye, how wonderful this is! I have never seen a report of the mist going under a door, but if it had just left his body then in principle that does make sense. It seems not to go through matter (other than the head or chest of the body that is dying), although there are some reports of it passing through the body of a loved one hugging the decedent at the moment of death. This is quite beautiful!

  21. Lola wrote: “In the meantime, since Roberta’s podcast will be delayed, there is quite a bit of information on the internet concerning Spiritism, and I was surprised to find that I was already introduced to it and didn’t even know it because I read two of Allen Kardec’s books, and he seems to be a big part of Spiritism.”

    Both ‘isms’ have been around a couple of centuries or more. I see both essentially similar but Spiritism places more emphasis on reincarnation and is based on one individual’s guidance. Just as with most any subject, the web has any amount of information for seekers. My personal experience – based on exposure to both – is that Modern Spiritualism has a much simpler message for new seekers.

  22. As with all movements, philosophies, beliefs or religions the choice is – of course – down to what appeals to any individual.

    I’m not seeking to persuade anyone about any of them. 🙂

  23. Efrem: I love your description of Joan’s house (Versailles on steroids). Ha ha. It is so her!! I wish a medium would contact her. It would be an absolute riot. I think her plastic surgeries were an attempt to keep herself pretty, not for herself, but for the public so they would always love her. Most celebrities have this problem, as they have lost touch with who and what they really are. Very sad.

    1. Lola: I’d love a medium to contact Joan Rivers. Imagine all the comedic mileage she could get out of the afterlife and surviving death!!
      I think that insecurity and the need to be loved may indeed have been a driving force behind all that incessant tip and tuck…
      She was good at heart I think, despite her less than demure public persona. Do you know that Joan said if you make someone laugh, you give them a little holiday? That’s kinda true isn’t it?!
      Well, I’m glad at least that she doesn’t have to deal with the mass media world, now that she is in the Summerlands. 😉❣️

  24. Mac: Thanks for the link to the video on Spiritism, but more importantly, I want to thank you for your comments on “getting stuck.” If that estimated 25% includes those who were confused or reluctant to accept their death for a while, it really isn’t any big deal, as most people will not just accept that they have to remove themselves from earthly concerns just because they died. Could it be so simple as to just ask for help? This is the advice Roberta (and many others) give. I think the fear of the unknown conjures up so many scary scenarios.
    Of note, if anyone is interested, “The Medium Book” by Allen Kardec is a free download if you go to the website and click on Free afterlife books.

    1. Thanks for the book tip, Lola, but I already downloaded it some time ago from there. 😉

      Glad you liked the video link. I watched all of the videos some time ago and found them well presented.

      As for the issue of ‘earthbounds’ well those who know me will know I’m always saying the same thing. It can be misleading and confusing trying to understand difficult issues in isolation.

      For many seekers just dealing with ‘the basics’ of survival and communication will be hard enough .

  25. ..Yes, Mac, it’s hard enough for people to adjust moving from one country or even one state to another let alone from one world to another, so what you said is completely understandable. I’m almost sure that you probably have already read “Claude’s Book” which is an account of an afterlife experience of Claude, who was a soldier who was killed in WW I. It is another free afterlife book, but if you haven’t read it, please do, as it’s amazing. I liked it because it indicates that people who die in a similar situation help each other to adjust. To me, it was very uplifting.

    1. Lola – No I haven’t read that book but I know about it.

      Actually I rarely read books of a spiritual nature nowadays as I’ve long stopped looking for evidence. Having said that I’m about to order ‘The only plane in the sky’, an oral history of the 9/11 tragedy and that links in a way to discussions we had on ALF on the spiritual aspects of that tragedy, whether all those killed were aware beforehand that they were shortly to die.

      I was surprised the anniversary of 9/11 passed this year with far less coverage (in the UK) than I remember previously. The subject didn’t even get a mention by any ALF members either. Perhaps that’s the way it should now be?

      1. Mac, it was obviously a painful time but it was nearly 20 years ago. People can still remember events in history without reliving them every year, and it is hoped that the generation not even born in 2001 will take over in that regard where 9/11 is concerned.

  26. Efrem: That’s the only quote from Joan that didn’t make me laugh hysterically. What a beautiful thing to say, that you give people a little holiday when you can make them laugh. If that’s true, she gave me many “little holidays.”

    1. Lola: I’m glad our Ms Rivers gave you lots of little holidays. (There was a point where Joan gave me the equivalent of a couple of weeks in French Polynesia! I laughed so much.) I hope she is okay on the Other Side and is running riot in the Summer Lands.

      I do wonder though, how a ‘life review’ works out: I mean, sometimes Joan made fun of (famous) individuals in very pointed ways. She has said that her comments were purely comedic without the intent to harm, hence they should never be taken seriously. What happens however, if someone was really hurt by her deprecating comments fired at them? Did Joan feel their pain in her own life review and learn from this ?

      Lola, I’m still very fond of JR, it’s just that I was ‘nudged’ to value kind speech over other types. She- who-is-best-listened-to, has informed me that my speech should always be: necessary, true and kind. I felt the need to mention how important and powerful words really are, so to choose them with care is wise.

      1. Dear Efrem, whether doing something purely out of love that nevertheless make someone feel bad is going to complicate our life review is an interesting question! Personally, I think your last paragraph is right: if the only motive really is love, then the words or acts are not going to make someone feel bad. But generally we do things for more than one reason, and while some of our motive force might be love, those other reasons might not be so pure! Joan Rivers, for example, was making a living. If some of her comedy had a bite to it, that made it even funnier, so even if she didn’t mean to upset the victims of her jabs, her mixed motives included a need to be as funny as possible; and when she returned home, she would indeed have felt the hurt of those who had felt hurt by her words in life. I’m sure she would have been counseled, and she would have forgiven herself, but it likely did make her life-review harder.

        One thing that seems to very much surprise people when they go through the life review is that even though it is gentle and loving and we get a lot of support, the standards for how we have lived our lives on earth are in fact extraordinarily high. Jesus said, “Be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect” (MT 5:48). And spiritual perfection really is the expected standard!

        1. Dearest Roberta, I know you have studied the Afterlife for many decades and Thomas explains so much that we can’t see here on Earth. So I tend to listen closely when you explain such things.

          Mixed motives are typical of human life on this planet; so much is a negotiation of survival and the need to establish livelihood. It’s hard.
          So when you say that the spiritual standard in the Afterlife is very high, that is exacting for souls who have had to negotiate survival all their lives here on earth.

          I believe that the standards up there are very high – the elevated ones are rather archetypal, are they not?
          So Jesus was getting us ready for real growth by preparing us to be perfect. Wow. 🌅
          Love & hugs,
          Efrem 🙏🏼❣️🕊

          PS: I’m glad Joan Rivers was helped to forgive herself in her life-review. This is a great kindness.
          Hopefully she is now quite resolved.

  27. I’m REALLY confused now. If the standards in the afterlife are very high, there must be only a small percentage of people who make the grade. Efrem is right when he points out that struggling to survive here and still have high spiritual aspirations is hard to the extreme. Wouldn’t that be taken into consideration?

    As far as Joan Rivers and other similar comedians, if their life reviews were harder due to the way they made a living and they never meant anything personal, nor did they actually want to insult anyone, this seems a little picayune. Yes, we should all use kind words, as words can be very powerful, but people pay to see these comedians and usually know what they are getting into, and certainly are aware that they will not be hearing a lot of kind words. Otherwise, the audience would fall asleep from sheer boredom.

    1. Lola: Remember what I said a little earlier? 🙂 Trying to understand such difficult points in isolation, without a broader context, is hard.

      The individual who was Joan Rivers here will NOT be Joan Rivers ‘over there’ unless she chooses to adopt that persona. As discarnates we are not the same individuals we were as incarnates but she could act that way if she chose, if it were important to her even after she had passed. The same may be said about all the others who we saw as personalities, Michael Jackson, Elvis Presley or whoever you choose.

      When we return home we’ll find there are individuals – spirits – of all levels of spiritual progression. There are no grades to make, no pressure to behave any partcular way, just an eternal ‘system’ of continuous progress, slow, steady or quick and it’s our choice – helped and supported by our spirit helpers – about what we do or don’t do.

      Aspirations can be as high – or as modest – as we wish but we’re the ones who will judge whether we’re achieving. Our so-called life reviews will give us invaluable insight into the progress we’ve made thus far but we’ll be the judge over ‘how well we did’. 🙂

  28. Dear Lola, our life-review involves experiencing the life just ended from the viewpoints of all the people we have affected. So if something we did or said was hurtful, we are going to experience the way we made that other person feel. It is that simple. The point of this lifetime was for the person whose life is being reviewed to grow spiritually as much as possible, and whether the person who has just died was a comedian or a ditch-digger, the life-review operates the same way!

    The point is our spiritual GROWTH. Where we were, and were we ended up in terms of our spiritual development. Yes, very few people make gigantic strides in one lifetime, but some people do: I recall once reading about a woman who had been in the Level Three range at birth, but she had planned a very tough lifetime – becoming crippled, being poor, just a whole lot of things – and she had managed it all patiently and with love. At her death, she was vibrating at the lower aspect of Level Five. It can be done! And it can be done if we start trying very hard even rather later in life.

    I think I may be an example, actually. I have never been a very nice person. I was average, at best. Then ten years ago I gave my life to God, and for every minute of every day since then I have been trying to do all that I can to help others. I have been trying so hard to ever more perfectly love and forgive! Then when I was writing The Fun of Growing Forever a couple of years ago, I asked Thomas if I had made much progress. He said that now this is my last necessary earth-lifetime, which was a stunning answer! I had done something like what that woman did, and started to try when I was already in my sixties. Love is all that matters! And it isn’t even very hard to grow spiritually, so long as you keep love as the focus.

  29. Mac: I have heard of the book you mentioned – it sounds very interesting. I am through looking for evidence also, but Claude’s Book is less about that than it is about how people who die in similar situations (such as wars and other disasters) kind of band together in support of each other.
    Not much was said this year in the US about 911 either – nothing like it was during the first 10 years post tragedy. However, many people who were victims acted pensive and thoughtful before it happened, sometimes with complete changes in their personalities. This was confirmed by their families and friends.

    1. Lola: We each have our individual interest in aspects of survival etc. and there are books and accounts to appeal to each of us. 🙂

      The 9/11 tragedy is just one example of where prior awareness of approaching death is evident. I’m sure there are many more but 9/11 has particular resonance for me. I’ve read accounts from survivors and bereaved relatives which appear to give an insight into what’s going on ‘behind the scenes’ in such events. That may be more my field of interest but I have others. 🙂

      These horrible tragedies should not dominate our emotions but neither should we try to suppress them. We were all impacted by the outcomes and this world changed on that day in 2001. I remember realising that it would soon affect my future and it did exactly that. 🙁

  30. Roberta: I think the point is that you did try and you tried very hard and now apparently there is no need for you to come back. However, most people don’t do that on such a large scale. What a wise decision you made Too many people invest their time in acquiring material things, all of which are only temporary and completely worthless after we “die.” I wasn’t the best person either – kind of selfish and vain. If only we were taught differently as kids, our life reviews would be a piece of cake. However, like you said, it’s probably never too late (at least I hope not)

    1. Dear Lola, I’ve been thinking of myself as a guinea pig. I read all the afterlife evidence I could find and figured all of this out over decades; and I read the Gospels repeatedly and very closely, and also figured out how they fit with what we now know about the afterlife. Then I set out to figure out how to go from being just a normal woman – as you say, selfish, vain, self-absorbed – and see how much I could grow spiritually during just my retirement years. It started out as an experiment! I am still floored to realize how rapidly I was able to change, and how completely happy I have become. And the experiment isn’t yet over! And my dear, believe me when I say that if I could do all this in barely a decade, then I guarantee you that anyone can do it!

      1. dear Roberta

        I know your paragraph is intended to encourage others but individuals’ lives and circumstances are often as similar as chalk and cheese.

        YOU’VE experienced a recent sea change in your life but you can not guarantee others could experience anything even remotely similar given your very special situation.

        Think about the decades preceding the beginning of those changes. Think about your association now with the individual who used to be President Thomas Jefferson. Think about how you both love all things to do with Jesus and the Bible. Think how – you’ve told us – his words and ideas are what you so often convey.

        Forgive my bluntness, please, but your position is special and unique. Few, if any, will ever experience anything similar.

        You are blessed and inspired but perhaps too modest to say that. A “guinea pig”? I think not. 😉

        I respectfully suggest few of us ordinary folk would ever find ourselves in such a happy position. 🙂

        1. Dear Mac, I respectfully but profoundly disagree! I know for a fact who I was before, and I was aware throughout of the process of change. What I did is something that literally anyone can do. Anyone! I am flabbergasted to realize how easy it is, and I am determined now to help everyone else who truly wants to make this their last earth-lifetime.

          The trick is WANTING to do it, then TRUSTING: God, the process, and perhaps also me. But I was indeed my own guinea pig. And the only help I had was Thomas’s coaching from the sidelines. Yes, I was very familiar with the afterlife evidence and the Gospel teachings! But I contend that it would take any interested person perhaps a couple of years to achieve my level of knowledge in both areas. I did it the hard way, so now you can do it the easy way!

          (Thomas agrees, incidentally. He didn’t do it for me. He just showed me what to do. And he tells me now that I’m right when I say it really is not difficult.)

          1. Let’s agree that just as on some other issues our perspectives differ, Roberta. 😉 🙂 But it’s hardly surprising TJ agrees with you that it’s not really difficult.

            I didn’t say, though, that TJ did any of it for you and you must surely acknowledge your relationship with him is highly unusual and very likely unique!

            Few of us will ever enjoy a relationship with a spiritual guide let alone one who once was a US President. 😉

  31. Well Roberta,
    I think my life review will be agonizing in one part. (As time is not relevant at Home, the pain could feel like it takes an hour, a day, three months or years; I don’t know.)
    There is one life period I must face, involving love, a long term relationship, sexuality, being split in two and betrayal. If you break someone’s heart (and then your own) a life review is likely to be stark and raw in terms of pain. Especially when I have my higher mind back and see my actions from that deep soul perspective, then empathically feel the suffering that I’ve inflicted on that one person. And all the while the shining Spirit sourced, high standard will be all around me. No, ‘Oy Vey’ doesn’t even come close.

    I am glad that we are held and counseled by loving souls at the time of our life review. I sense that this is not for a trivial reason, by any means. I do get the feeling that when we fail the high standard and we finally realize the full impact of our actions, love assuages the grief to get us through. There seems to be a balance of empathic self scrutiny and deep loving kindness.
    I understand that there is also no external judgment, rather a self evaluation of the gains of the life under review. So there’s that.

    Well, what will be will be.

    I know that Rumi says that pain brings blessings, so I can only hope that the pain we feel in our life review, once we have forgiven ourselves, brings blessings of true spiritual growth and self resolution.

    1. Efrem: From this observer’s perspective your life review will be nowhere near as traumatic as you’re thinking. In effect it’s already begun by your acknowledging those aspects you’re unhappy with even now.

      When you’ve left this mortal coil and are looking back at how things went – the so-called life review – you’ll also be considering how best to begin to try to put right aspects you’re not happy about even now. The pain of remorse will last as long as the time it takes (given there is no time as we know it! 😉 ) for you to acknowledge and formulate how best to resolve issues. And, yes, there will be helpers and guides to help and support you when doing that.

      Your situation isn’t unique. I suggest most if not all of us will face some soul-searching in our review. I’m certain this curmudgeon will!

      Try to be of good heart and reflect that it isn’t the only life review you’ll have or (more likely) you will already have had. Chances are high you’ve been here many times before and lived through many other life reviews after you left.

      It’s not a one-chance-only-to-put-things-right deal. 😉

    2. Dear Efrem, I think you’ll find that the focus in your life review will be more on what you learned from this experience that troubles you so much now. As Mac says, you have already begun to process and learn from it here, and that fact will be a big part of this episode when you relive it there. Please don’t fret about it, dear! Most of those who go through the life review process say that the things that stand out negatively are not the big things, but rather the little ways in which we obliviously hurt the feelings of others by teasing them about gaining weight, or something. They say those little things turn out to matter a great deal more than we now can imagine!

  32. Efrem: I have to admit that I don’t know who “Rumi” is, but if he said that pain brings blessings, I certainly agree. As for the love situation you were in years ago, I know that you didn’t mean to actually hurt that person, and many of us have had a similar experience in a relationship. including myself. I am not looking forward to facing it either, but I know I must and will have to look at it from a whole different perspective, so I totally know how you feel.

    I just want to take the opportunity here to thank you, Mac, Mike and Roberta for all the helpful information and insights you have given me. To say it is appreciated is an understatement.

    1. Lola, so pleased to be of service. I keep telling myself I hate teaching, but my wonderful guide Arrow seems to have other ideas snd keeps opening her expanded mind to me. Then, well there we have it, her truth will out, and I end up writing here, as I am doing now.

      As we all seem to have noticed, our life reviews go on concurrently with our lives. Every night in fact, so that we truly do start over each day. Check out Rumi. He was a marvelous mystic poet.

  33. It will be interesting to hear what Roberta has next to say on this engaging subject. 🙂

    It’s not often that a subject runs concurrently both here and over on ALF.

  34. Well, I hope you don’t decide to stop, Mike, or anyone else on here either. What you are doing is of utmost importance (at least to me). One can read a thousand books, but it isn’t quite the same. I too look forward to what will be said next time.

  35. Roberta, with all my agreement with you, the one thing that bothers me the most. How effective is the program you created without destroying the ego? Is ego annihilation a key without which there is no chance of reaching your spiritual state?

  36. Well, first, dear Dmitriy, I didn’t create the process for raising personal consciousness vibrations that I recommend in The Fun of Growing Forever. It comes from the words of Jesus in the Gospels! And to be frank, I think it’s likely that no method will work very well if the ego is not to some extent mastered, although in that case the method given in the Gospels is likely to work better than most.

    And finally, dear, destroying the ego produces nothing but positive results for you! The ego is not you, but rather it is a kind of parasite. The fact that you are fretting now about weakening or destroying your ego suggests that the ego is working to instill unfounded fears in you so you will protect it. Isn’t that reason enough to want to weaken it or be rid of it altogether?

  37. I was misunderstood. Roberta, I am entirely in favor of destroying the ego, but I simply do not have the opportunity to do so. Therefore, I am interested in how effective the method transmitted through you is without destroying the ego.

  38. Dear Dmitriy, I guess I don’t understand why you are giving up on destroying your ego so easily, if it is not through the self-preservation machinations of your ego. This is not a hard process! If you aren’t afraid of attempting it, then why don’t you at least try?

    To be frank, I don’t know how well your attempts at raising your consciousness vibration will work if you leave your ego alone, but you might try That, too, and let us know how it works! You might find that your work at raising your vibration will lessen your fear and weaken your ego. Who knows?

    And thank you, Dmitriy, for getting us closer to 100 comments on this one blog post ;-)!

  39. I will try to explain my position again. Destroying the ego is following the program outlined in the Course of Miracles book. According to your words, it is almost impossible to achieve success alone. According to your words, you could succeed only by working in a group. But I have no such opportunity. Is it then that I’m wrong that not trying to destroy the ego alone? I would be glad to meet people who alone destroyed the ego and ask for advice, but I do not know such people. Buying a book is not a problem. The problem is using it to succeed. I think the topic of how to actually destroy the ego deserves one of the future posts.

    1. Dear Dmitriy, I wrote about the extinction of the ego in December of 2018 – you might go and read that post, and then search on “ego” and “extinction of the ego” because I know I have written about it at other times as well. What I have said is that since I had done A Course in Miracles several years before I began to apply the Lord’s teachings to my life, I simply don’t know the extent to which my having softened up that nasty little bugger that was my ego made it easier for me to use those teachings to grow spiritually. And I still don’t know! You and I would both welcome any first-hand experiences that other readers here can share with us.

      I do know, however, that if you will take the Gospel teachings as seriously as they are meant to be taken, and will rigorously and persistently apply them to your life, you WILL raise your personal consciousness vibration! You have the Lord’s word on that.

  40. Roberta, you talk as of everyone has deathbed visitors, feelings of relaxation and acceptance. This is not everyone’s experience. Some people are afraid and see or hear no extra terrestrial visitors.

    1. Dear Clare, sadly, what you say is true. Natural death that is uncomplicated by irrational fears is as wonderful as I have described it here, but those who are plagued by religious fears can be so terrified as their deaths approach that they immerse themselves in that terror and are oblivious to the spiritual gifts around them. It truly is an awful tragedy! I have spoken with hospice workers, and they consistently say that it isn’t so much a fear of dying that obsesses these poor souls, but it is rather a fear of not having been good enough to avoid hell. Even gentle little old ladies sometimes have such fears!

  41. Hi Roberta. I stumbled across your blog through a facebook group that I joinedaround a year or so ago. I’d like to share iwth you one of my albums, written in memoriam to my younger brother Joe who died one week before Thanksgiving in 2017. The album is called Transition and it’s gotten some nice reviews, airplay on internet radio and was nominated for ambient album of the year. I hope you enjoy the music and I look forward to reading more of your blogs and your books.

  42. Oh my Roberta,
    What an amazing account of death. I am so happy to discover your blog. I was looking around about pet death and what happens when they die. and your blog popped up in google.

    So glad to have found you.

    1. I’m glad that you’ve found us too, Helena! If you ever have questions, simply ask them through the Contact block here and I’ll be happy to answer them. It’s lovely that the truth is so wonderful!

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