Coming to Know Your Best Friends

Posted by Roberta Grimes • August 02, 2015 • 21 Comments
Afterlife Research, Book News, Human Nature, Understanding Reality

It became clear soon after my last post was made that many readers are Thomas as Spirit Guidenot familiar with spirit guides. This is an area where I am not expert, but I’m competent to give you a beginner’s course. Let’s do that now! Your life will be richer and more fulfilling when you have a better sense of the spirit-friends who are lovingly there all through your life, helping you keep a steady hand on your tiller. All of us have spirit guides. There is one who agreed before you were born to be your primary guide through life, and as you take up various kinds of work or hobbies and perhaps experience trials there will be others who join or leave your team. Only your primary guide will be permanent, but if you are doing much in your life, you likely have a number of long-term guides. I have been surprised to learn that I have eleven.

Your team talks with the teams of those around you! It’s as if each of us is a celebrity surrounded by invisible retainers. This summer I have been helping to edit the autobiography of Mikey Morgan, a sixth-level being who came back to live a brief life and then to die at twenty so he could become familiar with modern people in order to teach us through the veil. I met his mother, Carol, in 2011 when she sat down near me at an afterlife conference and began a conversation. It was only when I read Mikey’s account of that meeting that I learned that he had cased the room, looking for someone to mentor Carol, and he had learned from my invisible retainers that I am a writer and an afterlife expert. And I am – what did they tell him? – friendly and enthusiastic. They thought I would give Carol the help that she needed. I was astonished to read this. I had had no idea at the time that I was moving through that conference with invisible handlers who were representing me to other invisible teams!

Your guides work beneath your conscious radar. Many nights while your body sleeps you will travel out of it to meet with your team; you’ll discuss current issues and get their advice, which is why “sleeping on it” works so well if you have a big decision to make. When something in particular is troubling you, it can help to pose it as a simple question as you are settling down to sleep. Then pay attention to your first thoughts in the morning. It can take a few months to iron out this process, but if you are persistent in framing your questions and expecting morning answers to be there, you should indeed begin to find that even if it isn’t the answer you were hoping for, some sort of answer will be there when you awaken. Your primary guide will put thoughts into your mind, will steer you toward or away from ideas, will comfort you when you are down, will make you extra joyful when things go well. He or she becomes something like a part of you. My primary guide has left me briefly only twice in my life, and each time his sudden absence made me feel frail and helpless. An important part of what I had thought of as myself was abruptly gone.

So who are these people, anyway? Why do they work so hard to help us? Our primary guide will generally be a close eternal friend who is probably more spiritually advanced than we are. Being a primary guide is a privilege and a great responsibility. Assisting people now in bodies to achieve greater spiritual growth in this lifetime helps our spirit guides to grow spiritually as well.

You can come to better know your spirit guides. Foolishly, I never had cared about my guidance team, and never once had thanked them, even though I realize now that everything I ever have done in my life has been possible only with their loving help. Since Thomas broke into my daytime life in February, I have come at last to know and really begin to love my precious friend. He and I have communicated through a medium, and we’ve worked together on writing a book, so I find that I always am aware of him now, a calm and stolid presence who sometimes seems to be just behind my left shoulder. Never in front. Never obtrusive. Always there. And sometimes now I will wake up with remnants of our nighttime conversations in my mind. I almost want to say to you that this feels a lot like falling in love, like getting a puppy, like being given the world’s most miraculous toy. Having Thomas become an active presence in my life has been Christmas and my birthday rolled into one.

This is a real relationship! It’s like having a wise and supportive and protective and sometimes exasperated older brother. Thomas had selected two possible publishers for our book. Perhaps because he likely was working on each of their minds when they heard from me, both presidents responded at once to my inquiries. Both requested the manuscript with no agent involved, and almost at once both accepted it for publication. Thomas preferred one publisher, perhaps because it bears a more prestigious name. Then last Wednesday I woke up realizing that he had told me during our nightly meeting that since I am such an “obsessive nutcase” I would clash with his preferred publisher. He told me to sign with his second choice.

Now I ask you, was that nice? I said to my husband at breakfast, “He called me an obsessive nutcase! That wasn’t nice!” My husband looked at me thoughtfully and said, “No, not nice. But true.” I still giggle whenever I am reminded of the way the two men in my life really see me.

Having a close relationship with the friends who are working behind your scenes is fun! Please try it. Not only are you going to come to better understand your own life’s purpose, but you will find a rich camaraderie in building a relationship with your spirit guides. You can attempt to better get to know them in the guidance meetings you have while your body sleeps, but I have found that I was unable to make my guides’ daytime acquaintance that way. For most of us, the most efficient way to begin Spirit Guide Teamto make waking contact with guides is through a spiritual medium who specializes in doing this work. Ideally, your medium of choice will help you learn to receive your guides’ subtle guidance. After having neglected Thomas and his team for so long, I want them all to be my best friends! I want to feel as close as I can to this merry and talented group of folks who wonderfully have made me their much-indulged center.

photo credit: <a href=”″>Smiling businessman</a> via <a href=””>photopin</a> <a href=””>(license)</a>

photo credit: <a href=”″>Laughing businesspeople</a> via <a href=””>photopin</a> <a href=””>(license)</a>

Roberta Grimes
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21 thoughts on “Coming to Know Your Best Friends

  1. Hi Roberta -I’ve been reading your Letters novels and I would love to read a novel that reflects the Spirit Guide relationship. The protagonist would grow into his relationship with his guides in a similar way to your journey. Or like Garnet! That was pretty dramatic! That would be fun and instructional at the same time….

    At 65 I’m trying to figure out where I am going from here. I’m still working part time as a preschool music specialist – a wandering minstrel – and I’m not ready to give it up, but I wonder every day what my mission really is. I have been thanking my guide every day for giving me a job to do and helping me do it. And I’ve been to a medium once, but wanted the focus to be on my daughter. Next time I’ll ask more of my own questions. I have certainly been obsessed with NDE ‘s and am very glad to have found you.

    1. I’m so glad that you’ve found us too, dear Carol! And I was 64 when I gave my life to God and what I think of as my real work began, so certainly you are not too late. I haven’t given up practicing law for business owners, either, since I so much love doing it; I simply have recognized that it always has been a ministry. I emphasize loving these beautiful people who trust me and let me have the joy of helping them. Actually, now I am doing my best work! Your own work as a preschool music specialist and minstrel is certainly more in the love-mold than the law ever could be, so whatever you wind up doing, I’m sure it will fit right in.

      My suggestion is that you try not to try. My strong suggestion is that you swallow hard, get down on your knees, give your life to God, and really mean it. Trust God! There is work for you to be doing, perfect work for which you are the perfect tool since you were being honed for that work even before your birth. If you then use a medium who specializes in connecting people with their guides, you can ask them flat-out what they signed up to help you do. My experience has been that they will tell you. Boy, will they tell you! Best wishes and love on this journey, dear Carol, and please let me know how things are progressing for you.

      I like your fiction suggestion! And actually, there is a planned Letters novel in which the dead will be working directly with the living in a way that is both true to the evidence and dramatic. It’s Letter from Chaos, and it is scheduled to come out in four years. A complication for the series is that my beautiful editor (of 25 years – she worked on both Rich and Famous and My Thomas) likes Letter from Crisis so much that rather than letting it be published this fall by a small press as planned, she wants to take it to New York. We’re delaying it so she can do that, but since the novel behind it – Letter from Mercy – is already one-third written and I LOVE that one, we won’t wait too long. I write for the joy of it! Having a New York publisher’s name on a hardcover book means nothing to me. I’ve done that, anyway. It wasn’t much fun.

      Thank you for your great comments, dear Carol!

  2. Another really fine blog, Roberta!

    I listened to your interview with Medium Christine Morgan and like your stated in your introduction, she does hold some different views in certain areas. As for Spirit Guides, if I understood her correctly, she said only Psychics and Mediums have them and what others have are their relatives around them, helping out. You voiced a brief difference of opinion, then went on with the interview.

    Since this blog touches on that subject, perhaps you’d like to elaborate a little more on what she said and how it differs from most Mediums and Psychics and yourself perceive on Spirit Guides?

    Many thanks!

    1. Hi Michael – thank you for bringing that up. Aargh! I can be such a coward sometimes. Christine Morgan is an expert on mediums, but not an expert on the afterlife evidence, and yet – bless her heart! – she is a woman of strong opinions. When she started talking that way, I didn’t want to upset her by correcting her directly – I think now, though, that I should have done that. After we stopped taping, I told her what the evidence indicates about the fact that all of us have spirit guides – and why – and she cheerfully accepted that as new information.

      The afterlife evidence is consistent in telling us that:

      1) A primary spirit guide like my beloved friend Thomas is part of the package that all of us bring into each earth-lifetime. We and our primary guide and those who will be important in this lifetime and their primary guides have worked out a starter life-plan to help all of us to make the most spiritual growth possible in this lifetime, and we will together tweak the plan as needed throughout our lives.

      2) Virtually always, we have the same primary guide throughout our lives. If we either make much more progress than expected, or we really fall apart spiritually, we might have our primary guide replaced either by someone who is more advanced or by someone who is better able to cope with a miscreant client; but the switching out of a primary guide seems to be a relatively rare occurrence.

      3) While our primary guide is a full-timer, he (or she) will bring in part-time specialists to help us with whatever we become involved with as our life progresses. For example, I seem to have a couple of guides who help me work with legal clients, three who help me write fiction, and three who help with my afterlife-related work. Thomas duplicates a lot of their expertise – he has been a lawyer; he writes well, and may in some lifetime have written fiction; he knows a lot more about the afterlife than I do. But his job is to manage my entire life, so he can’t get bogged down and distracted by one aspect of it. Therefore he uses targeted experts. Primarily, he seems to manage me emotionally, and he does that very well indeed; the two times in my life that he left me briefly, I became an immediate basket-case.

      I WANT TO STRESS THAT EVERYONE HAS COMPLEX GUIDANCE LIKE THIS GOING ON! There are likely to be areas where you, too, need expertise. Just learning to play a musical instrument or paint or ride a horse is likely to bring an expert or two onto your team. Whatever you do for work probably requires a spirit guide or two. There are many more people out of body than there are in body at any one time, and acting as a spirit guide is an important way for those who are a bit more advanced to continue to grow spiritually.

      Thank you for asking such a great question, dear Michael!

  3. Hi Roberta. As always, I am interested in your blogs in general, and sometimes more so with specific topics. Whilst I am already conversant (to some extent) with the topic of spirit guides, I have a question which peripherally touches on this subject. Now, I’m not asking you to give me a specific answer – no-one would have any way of KNOWING, but I am interested in your thoughts. My question is this …..

    Three mediums over the last two or three years have told me that I should (must!) write a book on my take on an afterlife, as I have been wallowing in such subjects since 1971. (Yep!) But – I’m no Gary Schwarz, Dean Radin, Wayne Dyer, or Roberta Grimes, and all my ‘researches’ have been low-key and for my own interest. How on earth can I, little ol’ me, write anything of sufficient interest to be taken seriously? However, when I was told last night, through yet another medium (a third medium), that “there’s a book” in me, I guess I have to give it due consideration.

    I’m not, of course, asking for a definitive answer – just your opinion. Thanks, as ever, for your blogs and your books.

    1. Dear wonderful Brian, would it help if I told you that during all the decades before I began to write The Fun of Dying, I had no idea that I ever would be writing a book – or books – about the afterlife? That’s one of the reasons why I don’t use footnotes. I know stuff, but I couldn’t begin to point out to you now where I might have learned it!

      I’m going to suggest to you again what I often suggest to people, but nobody actually is willing to do it. I urge you to give your life to God. And mean it! When you do that, God will give you things to do that are more wonderful than anything you can dream up yourself. It may well be that you will become the instrument of more advanced beings not now in bodies who want to write for earth-consumption about the most important topic in all of human history (which is what I have been – I realize now that all my books have been basically channeled).

      If you give God permission to use you, then your ego is out of it. If you then start writing – doing a blog, keeping a journal – and if you do that daily for awhile, there is no telling what might happen!

      1. Wow! What a thoughtful response Roberta. I promise I will take your suggestion(s) seriously, starting with giving my life to God. So, that said, let’s see where we go from here. Thank you, Roberta:-)

        1. Dear friend, many people are being called now to help with the elevation of the consciousness of the planet. That call may be the restlessness that you seem to be feeling. If you will just be open and receptive to Spirit, you will be given your answers. This is exciting!

  4. Great answers and information, Roberta. I’m sure many will benefit from what you presented.

    And, I don’t think you were a “coward” in the interview not to rebut Christine Morgan at that point. You did mention you differed and moved on. It was the correct and polite thing to do in that situation.

    Thanks, again!

  5. Roberta, I love the way you describe knowing you have a spirit guide and having a relationship with them. One of my spirit guides (not my primary one) went to what seemed to me like considerable trouble to get my attention. I discovered later that he was the spokesman for the team, redirecting my attention so I could get out of my loops and on with my work. I couldn’t figure out why I was obsessing on this person and was avid to find out all I could about him until he made it clear that he was offering me help and guidance and boy! was I happy to have that!

    I’m heartened by what you said to Carol. I’m 61 and I consistently feel that I haven’t done much with y life. there are reasons for that but I think now the real work is about to begin.

    1. Don’t be down on yourself, darling friend, for not having done so far what the world might recognize as important. You may have been doing wonderful, herculean personal spiritual work – so long as you are growing spiritually, you are a hero! And it was only after I gave my life to God – when I was already nearly 63, for heaven’s sake! – that I even began to write and speak on these topics and my public work began. You might try doing that, too?

      1. I feel that I have done that but in my life it took a different form. you know all about salvation and all that. with me, it seemed to be a matter of getting my power back from all the places I had given it, church, education system, family expectations etc. so then I could focus it where it belongs, in service to God and humanity. last year I had a transformational experience that came at the end of a long period of seeking and studying. I had to develop a different world view than the one I had and then my calling could be revealed to me. sometimes my guides talk about “launch”. it’s all very exciting and I feel almost like a different person but it’s really just more of who I really am.

        1. This is beautifully said, dear Lorie! Now indeed your work and your life will begin. Bless you, dear, and please let me know how your adventure progresses!

  6. Excellent post Roberta! You are such a blessing to all who come into contact with your information! Embracing and expanding our relationships with our ‘helpful people’ and guides on the Other Side is definitely instrumental in raising our vibrations to get divine guidance more clearly and live a purpose driven life full of blessings and miracles! Great work!

    1. Thank you, dear Sherri! Perhaps it won’t surprise you when I say that I love what I do, and I’m thrilled to hear from someone like you who clearly understands what is going on. Thank you for your thoughtful comment!

  7. Dear Roberta: You continue to Lift my sSpirit when you encourage all of the dear people wanting your advice to first give their life to God. i encourage you to be more specific and tell it like it is, He (Jesus) is Lord Of Lords and King Of Kings, GOD sat Him at His right hand. i know you risk being a fanatic,
    i’m just saying lets acknowlege the long process that”GOD” went thru to bring us back to Himself thru the Blood of Jesus. Go ahead, give it a try, ‘it was only after i gave my life to Jesus’ . . .

    1. My beloved friend, I don’t know whether your devotion to Christianity or your devotion to Jesus is the stronger impulse, but we are about to discover which you love most ;-). I will take your suggestion and tell the whole truth about where my giving my life to God has led me. Because you asked for it, dear Jeffrey, here is my personal witness:

      “It was only after I gave my life to Jesus that He led me out of the religion that bears His name. He showed me that Christianity is a first-century religion, that none of its main beliefs is true, and that He came to us 2000 years ago with a mission entirely different from the one that Christianity assigns to Him.

      “Jesus came to us as our Teacher. His entire mission is right there in the Gospels! He came to teach us how to grow spiritually, how to return to the infinitely powerful and perfectly loving God that is the only thing that is real, and how to bring the Kingdom of God on earth. He did not die for our sins. The role of Sacrifice that Christianity assigns to Him is bogus. What is worse, it is a terrible insult to God. It is a great humiliation to Jesus! And what may be worst of all, it tells Christians that they have a shortcut way to return to God, when in reality there is no shortcut. As Jesus Himself tells us in His Gospels, the only way to return to God is to strictly follow His teachings!

      “And the Lord is right. His teachings are true. I have made much more spiritual progress in the three years that I have been taking Jesus seriously and following His teachings closely than I had made in all of my 66 years lived as a zealous and devoted Christian. Christianity is wrong, but Jesus is right. And He is freshly calling Christians today to follow Him. And only Him!

      “The Lord says to us now, in the year 2015: ‘Why do you call me “Lord, Lord,” and do not do what I say?’ (LK 6:46) ‘If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.’ (JN 8:31-32)

      “My giving my life to God led me to the point where I had to make what felt at the time like an impossible choice. I could remain a Christian, or I could follow Jesus. I chose Jesus. And that was when, at the age of 66, my genuine life in the Lord began.”

      Thank you for asking for that, dear Jeffrey! It may not have been the testimony that you wanted, but it felt so very good to say it!

  8. Hello Roberta,

    you write “I urge you to give your life to God. And mean it! When you do that, God will give you things to do that are more wonderful than anything you can dream up yourself.” This sounds very convincing – I’d love to experience that for myself!

    So what if you do give your life to God, surrender, try to be as open as possible – but things seem to get worse than they were before … ? What does that mean? I feel a little discouraged at the moment.

    Thanks for the interesting information you provide here!

    1. Thank you so much for this fantastic question, dear Michaela! It’s such a wonderful question, and what I have to say on it would take so much space, that it deserves to be a blog post. I hope you won’t mind, but I will answer your question by the end of the weekend. GREAT question! And I want to help you understand it for yourself, dear, so if after you read my next blog post you still would like further answers or more help, please send me an email through the contact box on this website.

      Thank you for being so beautifully open. There is an answer for you. I promise!

    1. Hello dear Michaela! I’m sorry – I have my post mostly written, but after an afternoon when we entertained two active grandchildren I am too plumb tired to finish and post it tonight. High hopes for tomorrow, though. Thank you for the idea, dear!

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