We Create Our Own Suffering

Posted by Roberta Grimes • September 23, 2023 • 23 Comments
Book News, Jesus, Understanding Reality

What kind of fool am I, who never fell in love?
It seems that I’m the only one that I have been thinking of.
What kind of mind is this? An empty shell,
A lonely cell in which an empty heart must dwell.
What kind of clown am I? What do I know of life?
Why can’t I cast away this mask of clay
And live my life?  Why can’t I fall in love,
Like any other man? And maybe then I’ll know
What kind of fool I am!
Anthony Newley (1931-1999) & Leslie Bricusse (1931-2021) from “What kind of fool am I?” (1962)

For the past ten years I have been writing a weekly blog post, and also putting out a weekly podcast. My first blog entry was posted on November 21, 2013, while my first podcast went live in mid-June of that same year. And while this blog would skip as much as two or three weeks in the beginning if I had a lot going on, that podcast seems only once to have done reruns on a holiday weekend. For the most part, their audiences are different people. In fact, some who are reading this post may be surprised to learn that your blogger friend also does that podcast every week! The audience for Seek Reality with Roberta Grimes is larger than is our blog audience, since we send out just under five thousand weekly emails that carry each new blog post, while our podcast audience is in the hundreds of thousands. But still, I put considerably more effort into blogging for you than I put into delivering those weekly podcast episodes.

These blog posts take more time to write because each of them is a much-fussed-over think-piece. And I continue to practice law part-time as well. My law practice remains a central joy of my life! I have thought about retiring from the practice of law, but I am still having too much fun with my day-job, since some of my client businesses and their associated families have been a beloved part of my life for decades. I don’t practice courtroom law, so my practice leaves me lots of time for researching and thinking about aspects of the greater reality that I then can have the rare joy of discussing with my Thomas, and even sometimes with Master Jesus; and then eventually I will need to write about what the two or three of us have talked about, to enable us to pull it all together. And you, my precious blog friends, are graciously willing in the end to read and comment on whatever we write. My podcasts, on the other hand, are arranged just around outreach and teaching. They are meant to be times when I can do what Thomas tells me is what the rest of my life is primarily meant to be about, which is helping to share the truth about Jesus, and the truth about death and the afterlife. Although on occasion I have said some radical things on-air, at which times I have generally been my own guest. But mostly, I will interview authors, or I repeat my listeners’ favorite guests at regular intervals to talk about important educational topics that feature the afterlife and the greater reality.   

So it may not really be as surprising as it feels to me that this is the first time in more than a decade that my podcast seems to have something important to offer to my weekly blog post. But just this past week, I interviewed someone whose book gives us a great new way to approach and to use the Gospel teachings of Jesus. And I love his book! It’s called, If I Die Before I Wake – The Five-Step Roadmap to Enlightenment, Prosperity, and Your Life’s Purpose. And since Jonathan England is giving his book away for free at, I see no reason not to recommend it to you. With all the many hundreds of authors that I have interviewed on Seek Reality in the past ten years, his is only the second book that I have recommended to the world without reservation, because it gives you a different and worthwhile approach to using the Gospel teachings of Jesus. The first such book that I recommended was TJ Woodward’s Conscious Being, just a few years back. TJ Woodward is a wonderful spiritual counselor to those who struggle with addictions, and while I thought that TJ’s book was perfect in particular for people to whom the very notion of Christianity was likely to bring on a literal case of hives, Jonathan’s book contains marvelous insights into why Jesus’s teachings are so effective at raising our consciousness vibrations. Jonathan’s Seek Reality interview will be posted at for the week of October 10th, both in audio and in video. If you are curious, you might listen to it there.   

 It is seldom, if ever, that I learn anything new from my podcast guests. That is not why I do these weekly podcasts. And Jonathan England bills himself as someone who is going to help you learn how to earn your first million dollars, so I thought, Well, okay. I know the type. At this point, new potential guests are pitched to me by agents as often as twice a week, and a lot of those potential guests are in that mold. I generally turn them down, but Jonathan England was pitching himself, and he came from a fresh perspective on the teachings of Jesus, so I thought, Okay, I’ll play your silly game, and I penciled him in. But then I read his book! What Jonathan England was offering was a kind of post-Christianity, twenty-first-century approach to the teachings of Jesus that seemed to interest my two much-beloved Collaborators as much as it interested me. I know that it works. There are five separate steps to it, and I have personally lived all five of them in my own pursuit of spiritual growth. I think that for a modern seeker to begin with the Gospel teachings of Jesus as they are taught in The Fun of Growing Forever, and then perhaps to add Jonathan England’s five steps as they are taught in If I Die Before I Wake, has to take you at least to the top of level four, and probably into afterlife level five. How can that not happen? Because the primary thing that I have learned from Jonathan’s book, the elegantly simple thing that has been in front of my face for my entire life but it is so simple that I never before have seen it, is this: WE ARE ALREADY PERFECT. Of course we are! We come from God. How can we not be perfect?

Or to put it another way: We create our own unnecessary suffering. And since we create our own suffering, the great news is that you and I really are in control! Each of us is born as God’s Own best-beloved Child. We look upon the perfect face of Jesus, and we are looking in a mirror! But we forget that fact, once we are born on earth. All the epic struggles and pains of this place, the horrors and stresses and the battles that each of us fights every day of our lives is a roomful of mirrors of our own imagination that reflect to us our own desperate and despairing face. The sources of human suffering are manifold! Most of our suffering is fear-based, and it has myriad causes. For example, here are some of the sources of our own entirely self-created fears:

  • A reluctance to trust God sufficiently for us to love and forgive without reservation. Jesus would tell us that most of our earthly problems come from our pure lack of ability to trust God enough for us to love and forgive all people. Now, please read that underlined sentence again. How shameful is that? Each person on earth is God’s Own best-beloved Child! So, who are we to refuse to love and forgive them all? We believe that we are alone in the world, but we are never alone! What with God, our spirit guides, and our own loved ones not now in physical bodies, every one of us is a walking crowd.
  • Failure to make a sincere effort to raise our personal consciousness vibrations. There is no hell, and nor did Jesus ever teach about hell, but rather the lowest level of consciousness is what Jesus called the Outer Darkness, where there is wailing and gnashing of teeth. And if we are unable to forgive, we might end up there, simply because we have allowed our consciousness vibratory rate to sink so low. Not a pleasant place to be, but not hell at all, and a place from which eventually we all will be rescued.
  • Accepting fear-based and unloving religious ideas as real. Much of what religions teach is based in fear, to the point where it is not an overstatement to say that you should be careful about which teachings you follow from any religion. And that especially includes even innocent-seeming teachings like the Christian Apostles’ Creed, which seems to be just a bland statement of faith, but which can nevertheless be fairly easily turned into something divisive and unloving. It has spawned another version of the LGBTQ sort that has proven to be quite divisive. I don’t know the answer here. All I know is that if the Apostles’ Creed is being used to spawn other creeds which are divisive, then we stop reciting the Apostles’ Creed and all its spinoffs altogether. And if you find attending church to be at all negative or stressful, then simply stop going to church. The one time that Jesus talks about going to Synagogue on the Sabbath day, people try to throw Him off a cliff (LK 4:14-30)! Instead, simply turn to reading the Gospels on your own. Here is an article which suggests that the Gospel of Matthew is all that you ever will need to read and follow for your personal spiritual well-being. Or you might just graduate to Avoid all fears for the spiritual poison that they are!
  • Allowing fear-based governmental manipulation of our minds. We have no choice about living in human societies at the federal, state, and local levels, but we do have the right to choose whether or not and the extent to which we will allow our societies at all levels to affect our daily lives and our personal peace. When I stopped watching television two decades ago, it was primarily to get away from the minute-by-minute stress of all that political news! It is essential that we inform ourselves and that we vote, but we can do those things while avoiding all the fear-based drama that comes with TV political news. As Jesus tells us, we are to render to Caesar what is Caesar’s, and to God what is God’s (MT 22:21).

The more we can free ourselves from all these completely unnecessary sources of fear and stress, the more we will begin to set right our entire lives! And perhaps the most joyous thing of all about this so deeply joyous time of my own life is how completely all the parts of it are coming together.  I feel so deeply at peace about it all, and so absolutely free from fear, so very far beyond joyous and clearly as if I am somehow the most fortunate person alive. Because it really didn’t have to be turning out this way at all!

 The truth about reality more and more is feeling for me something like just before dawn on the morning when I was six years old, and I got up on my very best-ever Christmas Day of my life. We are so close now to the point where scientists are going to have to give up on materialism for the complete crock that it actually is, even though (laughably) the older ones still are clinging to straws. And meanwhile, we are finding ever more beautiful evidence of the known events of the factual life of a Jesus who really is fully God and fully Man, and who is, by the way and incredibly, my own deeply cherished personal Friend! We are learning with ever more flat-out certainty that not only is each of our lives eternal, but each of us is inextricably part of God; and as such, each of us is ALREADY PERFECT! Simply reach out and claim the truth of who you already are, my dear one! Thank You, dear God! Ours is the very first generation on earth that is no longer ignorant of anything! There is no longer anything that has been forgotten, but instead there is only perfection beneath this ultimately bountiful Christmas Tree of your own blessed and complete eternal life!


 What kind of mind is this? An empty shell! A lonely cell in which
An empty heart must dwell. What kind of lips are these?
That lied with every kiss. That whispered empty words of love
That left me alone like this. Why can’t I fall in love?
Like any other man? And maybe then I’ll know what kind of fool I am!
Anthony Newley (1931-1999) & Leslie Bricusse (1931-2021), from “What kind of fool am I? (1962)

Roberta Grimes
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23 thoughts on “We Create Our Own Suffering

  1. Roberta,
    Thank you for the information about Jonathan England. I intend to look that book up. In the meantime, for me, what you are saying coincides with my personal study of ACIM. I do not study in a group, though a kind student who is ahead of me and publishes a blog about his journey has provided some insights. I ask the Holy Spirit for guidance and I read and practice my lessons. What you are saying here is truth, and Jesus speaks about this consistently in the Course, initially as though teaching it to someone hearing it for the first time. I find that He is gentle and so insightful as He circles back in to bring these same truths up again and again, almost like having His hands over ours, as we chisel away at old false beliefs. I am sure you can appreciate that it takes time to absorb Reality, given the generations of this old paradigm. In conjunction with this is yours and others’ work to keep beating that drum, to crash and shatter the shell of illusion we have held onto. I speak this way because it must be hard-it is hard, when someone is awake as you are and you feel you are preaching and reaching out non stop and yet you see so much more to do. People ARE getting it, and your passion is contagious! So keep up the great work and thank you for all you do!!!
    P.S. to all of you on the blog…an update on my sister who I mentioned is marching under the Catholic dogma banner to “save our souls”- I was on the phone for 3 hours last week. What was different for me was I am at a point of feeling more comfortable allowing her her views and gently expressing mine. Most importantly, I asked Jesus to be with us, to join the conversation, and I was at peace for those three hours. Nothing she said-and I know she sincerely means well-upturned me. It is all fear based. I’m so very tired of it. I know He was there. I know He loves her, for as Roberta reminds us, we are ALL God’s children and perfect as we are. Imagine loving each other the way Jesus loved/loves all.

    1. Oh my dear, “almost like having His hands over ours” is simply beautiful. That is how He does everything, isn’t it? And yes, the dogma-based Christian beliefs of others are all so deeply fear-based! And the truths of our so deeply beloved Friend are so love-based, and utterly beyond all fear. I love being able to share them, as you do!

    1. Dear beloved Erica, you have no need to fear, but – as you are coming to see – the only one who can free you is yourself, with the always-there help of Jesus.

    1. My dear David, thank you for this tip! I would expect that he would make it available for listening somewhere 🙂

  2. I have been very ill. I did all the medicine things but very little helped. I read a book by Marsha Hankins on Ascension, leading me take classes on Skype on energy healing. With Eminent Reiki I am healing. My point is why do all governments and religions make dealing with the metaphysical so difficult or outlawed. Do they work together to keep us from looking at other healing methods. These institutions ridicule anything outside of their control. Our health insurance companies only cover what governments choose. Religions scoff at any method except theirs. No conspiracy here, only wondering why there is such effort to stop us from trying other methods of getting help. Money? Power? Membership? Negativity? Just wondering.

    1. Oh my dear Myron, Yes to all four! Money, power, membership, AND negativity! If I had a dollar for all the emails and messages I have received from people telling me about their energy healings that happened after their western-medicine healings had failed, my dear, I could by now be sunning on my yacht on the Riviera 🙂

  3. Hi Roberta,

    Wow, this blog really hit home of me. Since being unemployed you can imagine the FEAR that I have. But, what is funny is I have been hearing in my head, LET GO LET GOD!

    I have been meditating every day and I am starting in baby steps to let Jesus/God work in my life. I had an interview last week for a job that I thought was in the bag. I was not chosen, however, something inside me is telling me not to FEAR or feel rejected as God has something better suited for me.

    I have been wearing a silver bracelet with blocks of initials that say WWJD which stands for “What Would Jesus Do” It reminds me to STOP fearing, love, and forgive…

    I sometimes feel that I was put on this earth to work on FEAR! Having learning difficulties, I learned to FEAR….Any how…

    I am so GRATIFUL for You, Thomas, and Jesus…I love all who participate on this blog as have learned so much from each response!!!

    Another GREAT blogs!

    1. Hi Litsa. Isn’t it interesting how at the times when so much seems to be working against us the opportunities for spiritual growth manifests? I see you as very brave for taking on the challenges that you have in this lifetime. No fear. As Erica says, gfl.

      1. Hi Ray,

        Roberta, Thomas, and Jesus have really helped me believe that we all come here and take on earth school challenges.

        I have hard such a hard time in life. Letting go of fear isn’t always as easy as it seems…Though I am really trying to let go! I am also starting to wonder if I should venture into something different job wise…I will see how all of this unfolds.

        Everyone of us on this blog are faced with Earth School Challenges. We are all in this together!

    2. Oh my dear beautiful Litsa, it is so lovely to watch you opening and growing! Yes, of course, let Jesus work in your life! And you really are grateful to Jesus and Thomas, my dear one – no need to thank me. All I do is to give them this bit of earthly space. As Thomas says to me – and he often sounds a bit grudging about it – “you have the hands.” But I love him for his curmudgeonliness! I love everything about him, and I especially love the incomparable gift of having His extraordinary Friend here with us so often, loving and caring for us!

  4. I’m back I let go of a crush that was taking way too much of my life. I don’t feel better but I lost the guilt He was a musician. It was just me
    I still have fear-false evidence appearing real
    Back to gfl.
    Faith eliminates a lot of suffering,
    Telling me I am already perfect does not ring true for me. I feel our level of vibration teiis on us,
    That’outer darkness’ even exists means something is amiss. I love Jesus but His Path is not easy for me.

    1. Hi Erica,

      I think we all feel that way. Jesus’s Path is not easy for a lot of us. Earth School is hard for sure. I think a lot of us have Fear Based Beliefs because of our childhood. I struggle with a lot of it myself to the point that it can cause depression. My last job really caused me a lot of suffering on myself worth.

      Hang in there, I truly believe our spirit guides no how hard it is and so does Jesus.

      1. Oh yes, my sweet Litsa, they do know how hard it is to be here, and they are rooting for us more than you can imagine!

    2. Oh my dear Erica, the Outer Darkness is only the lowest vibrational level and nothing that was created as a trick on us. Please don’t worry about it! Only learn how to forgive, my darling, and all will forever be well.

  5. Dearest Roberta,
    You’ve said above that: “…not only is each of our lives eternal, but each of us is inextricably part of God; and as such, each of us is ALREADY PERFECT!”

    I receive these words with the joy that comes from knowing that the deeper reality is beyond my best hope. We just need to claim our true selves; all will be pure Light in the end.

    I guess my dear, I’ve long had an inkling that Oneness was really about lifting the veils from our eyes; that underneath we are already Divine in nature. What if we can take away each veil, one after the other in this lifetime? What if each dawning truth of which we are newly aware is a veil imperceptibly lifted from us?

    I feel with everyone here on this blog. All the terrible and difficult things people go through and overcome are so very hard. When this life is over we may really see things clearly and feel the astonishing joy of who we really are. Until then though, I reckon there are things we can do to make this life passage to eternity easier. There are even ways to get out of certain sufferings.

    One thing that helps me, Roberta, is that when I pray, I include a little bit of myself in God as I do so. That is, I talk to God, while knowing that a bit of me is already in God as I pray. Or you could say, my earthly self reaches out to Spirit who has me already within Him.

    I then begin to feel more acutely that Oneness is real where my human body, time and space are illusions anyway.

    Hence I thank Jesus, Thomas and your good self, for inviting us to claim our true self. As you say:

    “Simply reach out and claim the truth of who you already are, my dear one.”

    1. Oh yes, my sweet wonderful Efrem, the truth for each of us really is right there before us! I do love so much knowing that, when those we love here share their pains with us – I know that the perfection of the truth of who they actually are is right before them, and they need only claim it!

  6. Thanks, Roberta for recommending Jonathan England’s book. Seems like words, no matter how often we repeat them, are rather fragile for bringing about spiritual growth. Rather, it is the experiencing of such concepts that accelerates understanding and solidifies beliefs. The book “If I Die Before I Awake” has the potential to do just that.

  7. Roberta
    I know I keep hammering away@’outer darkness’
    And a few days later, I’m happy and Jesus loves me.
    This a tiresome aspect of my path.

    I am so glad you answer me over and over again
    Iwant to drop all doubt;sometimes I succeed–that window opens but then my old ignorance interrupts and tries to tie
    me down once again.

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