Sex in the Afterlife

Posted by Roberta Grimes • October 21, 2014 • 11 Comments
Afterlife Research, Death, Human Nature

One of the questions I am asked when I speak about The Fun of Dying and The Fun of Staying in Touch is origin_5928977629whether we can have post-death sex. After all, the whole area of sexual relations is so important to our earthly lives. Isn’t it central to who we are?

       I think it’s important to consider why physical sex is so important to us. There seem to be three reasons:

1)    Procreation. Our bodies are driven to reproduce themselves. Hormones meant to get that done are powerful drivers of our interest in sex.

2)    Pair-Bonding. The human emotional urge to be close to another human being is strong, and sexual relations are a way to express and fulfill that need.

3)    Enjoyment. Physical sex is for many of us the most pleasurable thing that we do in our lives.

Do these reasons why we want to have sexual relations change in the afterlife? Based upon what the dead tell us, all three reasons disappear:

1)    Our post-death bodies lack a procreative drive. Probably because we don’t reproduce there, the dead tell us that their bodies have no physical urge toward sex at all.

2)    Fewer of us pair off, but instead we feel close to many people. We live in the afterlife without any of the hardscrabble maintenance needs that make pairing off seem to be a useful defense against a hostile world. Pair-bonds, if they exist at all, are generally looser and more companionate.

3)    For most of us, everything we do in the afterlife is pleasurable. We have no need to work, eat, sleep, or indeed do anything that we don’t feel like doing. We are young and healthy and surrounded by endless possible entertainments. And whenever we like, we can engage in an intensely pleasurable body-melding activity with anyone at all. The dead tell us body-melding is better than sex. And it has no morality attached to it.

So apparently, in the afterlife people really don’t bother with physical sex. Even for my dear friend Mikey Morgan, who died at the hormonal age of twenty, post-death sex holds no interest at all. But can we have sex there if we want it? It seems from the evidence that indeed we can.

There is a story told of a youth who had suffered a genital injury before he was killed in the First World War. His post-death body was created by his mind, and it still bore the injury that obsessed and depressed him. Even after corrective post-death surgery, he still thought himself to be less a man, so he was tucked into bed and put to sleep. He awakened to find a beautiful young woman in bed with him who initiated lovemaking, and he discovered that everything worked just fine!

I love that story because it so completely typifies the way the newly-dead are treated: whatever you might need to ease your recovery from the grievous ordeal that is life on earth, apparently they are eager to offer it. The personal care that each of us is given is shown in many such stories of tenderness toward the newly dead. But in all my origin_1045750850research, the rehabilitation of that genitally-injured soldier is the only account I ever have read of actual physical sex after death.

So apparently we have post-death bodies that are capable of having sex, but at the same time there are so many more enjoyable things to do that few of us bother with it. I don’t know about you, but the thought that everyday post-death life is better than sex seems to me to be a good thing!

photo credit: <a href=””>Sean Molin Photography</a> via <a href=””>photopin</a> <a href=””>cc</a>
photo credit: <a href=””>Wendy Longo photography</a> via <a href=””>photopin</a> <a href=””>cc</a>


Roberta Grimes
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11 thoughts on “Sex in the Afterlife


    1. Danny, I’m sorry your comment took me a few years to answer ;-)! The dead tell us that in fact in the Summerland, everything is pleasurable. It is hard for us, living in this hardscrabble world, to imagine such an existence! But it does seem like heaven, doesn’t it?

    1. The plain fact, based upon abundant evidence, is that we do reincarnate repeatedly on earth. But reincarnation as it actually happens bears little resemblance to the religious version of reincarnation! Each incarnation is carefully planned in conjunction with our spirit guides and with the people who will be important in that upcoming lifetime; and since time does not objectively exist, apparently all our lives are happening at the same time!

  2. I love sex , it is more than just procreation it is delicious and the absolute bonding . People are strangely squamish about sex . As a medium I have sex with my spirit partner all the time. And I talk to many dead people that have crossed over who talks about it. No one asks about it . But in many cultures sex on the otherside is normal. Even Swedenborg mentions sex in heaven. Sex is the electro/magnetic energy that has created and continues to create the universe. Hermetics, buddism all mention this , as well as other spirits that aren’t human in origin. You will see in 20 years time this taboo of not having sex in the spiritual medium community will be broken.

    1. Well, according to those who are actually there, spiritual body-melding is much the preferred way to interact physically: they say it produces something like a whole-body orgasm, and you can do it with anyone. Compared to that, earth-style sexual relations don’t hold a lot of interest! I do hear about widows who are still having sex with their deceased husbands, so that is nice. Thank you for commenting here!

  3. I just want to have sex with that one woman I love who crossed over ahead of me . Just her. There is something so personal about making love to someone I love that ” melding ” with someone else is just not for me.. No offense meant to anyone who wants to ” meld” with anyone else..

    1. I understand, Ylmir! But please know that despite the way that you feel now, you may not always feel this way. We have beautiful bodies in the afterlife levels, but those bodies are entirely without a sex drive so the people there say that no one really cares about sex at all! Perhaps instead, you and she can enjoy the ultimate closeness of body-melding, and can find – as so many others have done – that it is even a great deal better than sex.

  4. This is an interesting topic. Why are people being born here obsessing so much about sex in all of our society? Why is that the focus here on Earth? Is it because the drive is not there on the other side? I have always wondered why there is so much deviant sex and just sex in general when we could be figuring out how to stop reincarnating and getting to the real goals. It seems to be a huge deal here.

    1. Welcome, Nimbette! And thank you for asking a very good question. Actually, people aren’t born now any more interested in sex than they ever were, but our culture is steeped and marinated in an obsession with sex that is primarily an artifact of its spiritual barrenness. When a culture offers us nothing in the way of what we are born actively hungering for, which is spiritual growth and inspiration, then our hunger is diverted toward mere physical pleasure and cheap titillation. It is, as you point out, a tragic waste of a huge and glorious opportunity! But if you and I and others who see the problem will continue to fight to expose ever more people to the glorious truth of our true eternal natures, then there is a real chance that soon a very much better day will dawn :-)!

    2. At least in my experience, embracing sex in all it’s fleshy glory took away the taboo, making it no big deal. I was no longer obsessed with it once I exhausted it and had my fill so it no longer held power over me. Sex was what eventually led me to the deeper divine love. It started out as physical and became very heart-based and giving. Divine love… Sorry, nothing tops it. As a shameless hedonist, after I had a taste of divine love, I wanted nothing else. My obsession has been to unite with God ever since. Sometimes, the only way to be free of something is to go right into its mouth. I think people obsess over it because it still has that Puritan shame attached to it. Ditch that and it becomes… golf. *Yawn* Okay, maybe not that boring but it no longer stands out among anything else. Just my experience.

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